Day: 3
Date: 20/07/08
Event: To Orlando
Despite having all the ingredients of a very dreary day, it has been fun!
It started at 6:13 am, when the little girls I was sharing a room with woke up and wanted to know when they had to wake up. (6:30) We were flying out at 10, but since it was an international flight, which requires checking in 2 hours early, and we were an admittedly large group, we were leaving the Hotel/Terminal at 7:30. Enough time to check in, get through customs, and catch some breakfast. Right?
Well, that might have worked had we been travelling any airline other than Air Canada.
We arrive at the international check-in and are told that we have to use the self-serve. Told rudely, I might say. It gets halfway through the our 12 personal ticket-group and dies. Twice. Daddy heads over the line F, which declares in pretty lights over the desk that it is "self service assistance." However, as he approaches the desk the lady behind it declares that she can't help and walks away.
...
After a short verbal skirmish with another lady, behind the Oversized-Baggage counter, we enter the check-in line. Approximately 35 minute after entering the line, we arrive at a desk. !0 minutes there and we have out boarding passes. Yes, the whole rigmarole was solely to get out boarding passes and have out luggage approved. At was about at this point that I remember what I learned last Christmas, which is that time ceases to have meaning while traveling, You enter a supra-state wherein colours and textures are abnormally fascinating, shameless gawking at other passengers is par for the course and the world outside the airport swindles into comparative insignificance. And all it takes to achieve this state is belligerent airport employees and a wait of an hour or more. No drugs required at all! :P
Anyhow, we got out of check-in and slid neatly into the line for customs. That went smoothly, and it was on to drop off the luggage and enter the line for security. Apparently with American Security you have to take off your shoes as a matter of course. There were no hassles, but security remains a surreal experience. Not the least if you happen to glance at the next line over (always a bad idea) and Mr. Anarchy has tried to go through security wearing studded leather, and consequently, after putting all offending clothing items through the scanner, is wearing very little while being patted down. And it's all normal. Weird. *shudders*
Anyhow, we made it through , and made our gate with a whole 5 minutes to spare! Yay us!
Three hours later, we land in Orlando. There is another monorail to the other terminal, where lives the baggage claim. I am pleased :) So we take it over to the other terminal, and wait for our baggage. Thankfully I do not have a watch to stress over, but it was a long time before our five lovely bags came down the conveyor.
Next objective; get to our hotel. There is a shuttle, but it seems to cost $90 per person. (90*12=1080?) Let's consider alternative transport! Daddy goes off to arrange this, while we wait. An undefined amount of time later, we hire two cab vans and speed off to the resort. Finally, the end of the line! Only not quite.
It seems that our rooms were not ready. (at this point it was 3 in the afternoon, local time) Okay, that's fine, we'll just take a tired party of 12,, which has eaten only on the plane, if they were not sleeping, on a walk. This has all the potential to be very unpleasant. But there might be gators in that pond! There are palm trees on the side of the road! And look, a lizard! And another one! The crisis does not materialize
Just as were were all lined up to try and dash across the road, the cellphone rang; our rooms were ready. So we trundle back and collapse inside the AC. Fraulein and I have our own room, nicknamed the Peach Hut. The hotel is actually a resort, with tennis courts, pool, spa, and "sundry amenities." We're living the high life! (Although, I think that the Toronto Hotel was nicer, but that's just me)
Tomorrow is Disney!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Can we go ride the train? Can we?
Day: 2
Date: 19/07/08
Event: To Toronto
We made it to the mainland! The little girls went from exclaiming over the size of the St. John's airport and begging to ride the elevator- to riding a monorail between terminals in Toronto and swimming in the pool, (which is part of the hotel (which is part of the airport)). I think they're having a good time.
We had breakfast in the St. John's hotel this morning, which for our family costs a whopping $100.00, and headed off to the airport. The lady at the check-in was rather surprised to see that among 12 people only 5 piece of luggage were checked, but what can I say? We're a special family. We also almost all managed to be carrying gels or liquids in our carry-ons, so we had to pull the convoy over and repack the lip balm, toothpaste, etc. But everyone made it through check-in and security without incident-
and then Gid dropped his boarding his pass down the heating vent. Hmmmmmm.... Thankfully Daddy worked his usual wonders in convincing people behind counters, and a new boarding pass was printed for him. *sigh of relief*
The actual flight was pleasantly uneventful. And far from being Delayed, we arrived 10 minutes early! We were flying Air Canada, so I was, understandably I think, skeptical of that happening. On the flight I watched Vantage Point, which was a very enjoyable movie. However, there was a large enough body count that I don't think I'd watch it at home. But it was good. I just especially liked the little news blurb at the end, which was entirely not what had happened. *glee* My devious soul was pleased within me.
Once we had landed the pilots of the plane allowed all the little ones, and even the big ones of our family to sit in the cockpit and pose for pictures. But that thrill was almost overshadowed by the sheer magnitude of Toronto Airport. Moving sidewalks! Massive Hallways! Escalators! Baggage carousals! And- the biggest thrill- a monorail train to our hotel. I think we were all thrilled with that train. And I want one for my own. It was all futuristic glass and private compartments, zipping over highways and parking garages. There wasn't even a driver, it was completely automated. *wistful sigh*
Right. Yes. *cough* So, we checked into the hotel, which is quite sumptuous, and scouted out the terminal next door. Was this just an excuse to ride the train? Um, yes. :P However, we did find a little food court which we then returned to, with Daddy and the money, for supper.
I am writing this by the side of the pool, as the official Adult which allows my non-adult siblings to swim. I was a spoilsport and didn't swim. :D Now the young ones are going up to bed, and PT, Fraulein and myself are going to ride the train again and check out the bustling Toronto night life. (We're going to the food court for Frozen Yogurt.)
Ciao!
Date: 19/07/08
Event: To Toronto
We made it to the mainland! The little girls went from exclaiming over the size of the St. John's airport and begging to ride the elevator- to riding a monorail between terminals in Toronto and swimming in the pool, (which is part of the hotel (which is part of the airport)). I think they're having a good time.
We had breakfast in the St. John's hotel this morning, which for our family costs a whopping $100.00, and headed off to the airport. The lady at the check-in was rather surprised to see that among 12 people only 5 piece of luggage were checked, but what can I say? We're a special family. We also almost all managed to be carrying gels or liquids in our carry-ons, so we had to pull the convoy over and repack the lip balm, toothpaste, etc. But everyone made it through check-in and security without incident-
and then Gid dropped his boarding his pass down the heating vent. Hmmmmmm.... Thankfully Daddy worked his usual wonders in convincing people behind counters, and a new boarding pass was printed for him. *sigh of relief*
The actual flight was pleasantly uneventful. And far from being Delayed, we arrived 10 minutes early! We were flying Air Canada, so I was, understandably I think, skeptical of that happening. On the flight I watched Vantage Point, which was a very enjoyable movie. However, there was a large enough body count that I don't think I'd watch it at home. But it was good. I just especially liked the little news blurb at the end, which was entirely not what had happened. *glee* My devious soul was pleased within me.
Once we had landed the pilots of the plane allowed all the little ones, and even the big ones of our family to sit in the cockpit and pose for pictures. But that thrill was almost overshadowed by the sheer magnitude of Toronto Airport. Moving sidewalks! Massive Hallways! Escalators! Baggage carousals! And- the biggest thrill- a monorail train to our hotel. I think we were all thrilled with that train. And I want one for my own. It was all futuristic glass and private compartments, zipping over highways and parking garages. There wasn't even a driver, it was completely automated. *wistful sigh*
Right. Yes. *cough* So, we checked into the hotel, which is quite sumptuous, and scouted out the terminal next door. Was this just an excuse to ride the train? Um, yes. :P However, we did find a little food court which we then returned to, with Daddy and the money, for supper.
I am writing this by the side of the pool, as the official Adult which allows my non-adult siblings to swim. I was a spoilsport and didn't swim. :D Now the young ones are going up to bed, and PT, Fraulein and myself are going to ride the train again and check out the bustling Toronto night life. (We're going to the food court for Frozen Yogurt.)
Ciao!
"Why are the little Girls singing Hannah Montana? Just why?"
Day: 1
Date: 18/07/08
Event: To St.John's
Despite packing everything up at 10pm last night, I think I have everything. Mostly everything, that is. I have found that my camera's download cable is not present, but I'm sure that that the only absent item... *hopeful*
Anyhow, it turned out that Fraulein, Slonner and I did NOT go into St. John's with Daddy. Instead, we drove in with the rest of the family, in a limo! It's true! Since we can't all fit in a rental van, it is actually cheaper to ride in a a limo, as opposed to multiple rentals.. Also it is more fun than the bus. It was a stretch limo, white, with leather interior. Also with non-alcoholic wine and cola. We're all glamorous!
After the four-hour ride, we all stopped off at the Janeway. Remember, we're still in a 36 ft. white limo. After saying hi to the nurses and Gideon, whose transfusion was still running, we left for the hotel. However, Fraulein and I had other plans. We were going to the mall. The limo driver dropped us off at the food court. And yes, I have no shame. :D
Once inside, it was a little funny to crowd watch, since I was expecting the same diversity as Ottawa and that was not the case. The biggest outrageous dresser I saw was one girl all in black with a red scarf. Not quite the crazy scene I didn't realize I was expecting until it was absent.
So Courtney and I ate in the food court, tried on dresses, and followed it all up with the theater! I found one lovely dress that hit my feet, but it was 80 dollars, so I let it be. The movie we watched was wall-E, which was delightful. We had been hoping to catch Prince Caspian, but as it was no longer playing the latest Pixar flick was an excellent option B. It was charming. And then we lavishly took a taxi to the hotel, where I am now. And now it is 10:30 and time for me to go to bed.
*20 minutes later* Oh, and I almost forgot to write this down. Do you know how much it cost per ticket to get into the theater? Do you?
$10.99.
And that was only admission! By the time I, carefully not calculating how many hours I was spending, was also kitted out with a drink, an ice cream, and chocolate to share, I was 23 dollars out of pocket. Twenty Three! Humph. If you're the only theatre within four hour's drive, you can really gouge your customers, it seems. Anyhow, sleep. Yes. *waves*
Date: 18/07/08
Event: To St.John's
Despite packing everything up at 10pm last night, I think I have everything. Mostly everything, that is. I have found that my camera's download cable is not present, but I'm sure that that the only absent item... *hopeful*
Anyhow, it turned out that Fraulein, Slonner and I did NOT go into St. John's with Daddy. Instead, we drove in with the rest of the family, in a limo! It's true! Since we can't all fit in a rental van, it is actually cheaper to ride in a a limo, as opposed to multiple rentals.. Also it is more fun than the bus. It was a stretch limo, white, with leather interior. Also with non-alcoholic wine and cola. We're all glamorous!
After the four-hour ride, we all stopped off at the Janeway. Remember, we're still in a 36 ft. white limo. After saying hi to the nurses and Gideon, whose transfusion was still running, we left for the hotel. However, Fraulein and I had other plans. We were going to the mall. The limo driver dropped us off at the food court. And yes, I have no shame. :D
Once inside, it was a little funny to crowd watch, since I was expecting the same diversity as Ottawa and that was not the case. The biggest outrageous dresser I saw was one girl all in black with a red scarf. Not quite the crazy scene I didn't realize I was expecting until it was absent.
So Courtney and I ate in the food court, tried on dresses, and followed it all up with the theater! I found one lovely dress that hit my feet, but it was 80 dollars, so I let it be. The movie we watched was wall-E, which was delightful. We had been hoping to catch Prince Caspian, but as it was no longer playing the latest Pixar flick was an excellent option B. It was charming. And then we lavishly took a taxi to the hotel, where I am now. And now it is 10:30 and time for me to go to bed.
*20 minutes later* Oh, and I almost forgot to write this down. Do you know how much it cost per ticket to get into the theater? Do you?
$10.99.
And that was only admission! By the time I, carefully not calculating how many hours I was spending, was also kitted out with a drink, an ice cream, and chocolate to share, I was 23 dollars out of pocket. Twenty Three! Humph. If you're the only theatre within four hour's drive, you can really gouge your customers, it seems. Anyhow, sleep. Yes. *waves*
What's done is done. All you have to worry about is the damage control.
We're back! *cue triumphant music* Moreover, we're back with all luggage in tow, all family members, and not even a major airline delay to show for the four Air Canada flights we braved. We must be special.
And now, an explanation for the post that "follow" this one. I was without computer access for most of the trip, which deficiency I assuaged by blogging on paper. Also known as keeping a journal. *grins* I shall now proceed to put the posts in digital form for your reading displeasure. (And yes, I am currently talking like this in real life as well. I can't seem to stop it. Sorry.)
Also, for future reference, my brother formerly know as Trapeziod has been renamed the Walrus.
And now, an explanation for the post that "follow" this one. I was without computer access for most of the trip, which deficiency I assuaged by blogging on paper. Also known as keeping a journal. *grins* I shall now proceed to put the posts in digital form for your reading displeasure. (And yes, I am currently talking like this in real life as well. I can't seem to stop it. Sorry.)
Also, for future reference, my brother formerly know as Trapeziod has been renamed the Walrus.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Cannot lead water downhill. Not recommended for Promotion.
We're off!
Tomorrow, that is. The mega-sized super-rush wish has come together, and we're heading into St. John's tomorrow. Mega-sized, that is, because there are 12 people participating, where 6 is a large group normally. They are only for family, and your average family, let's face it, is not going to overfill a mini-van. And Super-rush, (yes, I know, I am really excelling myself with the appellations today. I'm tired, get over it. :P), because it has taken less than two weeks to get the whole thing arranged and started. Usually families will know what they are doing months in advance. Us, not so much. We decided that we were going soon on last Monday. And from there it snowballed.
For example, we put in our passport applications on Monday, they printed them on Tuesday, and they were picked up on Wednesday. Usually it takes 6 to 8 weeks. Two days, vs. 6 weeks. *ponders*
We're going to be gone for ten days, with fully half of that travel. :P No, it is not Easy-Peasy to get to other places from where I live. Jumping on the daily flight to New York is not an option. Anyhow, I'm going to go in in the morning with Fraulein, Slonner, Gid and Daddy, as Gid needs a blood transfusion before he travels. He therefore needs to get into the Janeway in the morning, and us girls will have the run on St. John's for most of the day. We are desolated. Especially seeing as Wall-e and Prince Caspian are both possibly still playing in theaters, and St. John's has a theatre.
At this point I sense laughter mingled with skepticism from those people who are near theatres, but I shall point out that we are four hours drive away from any theatre. So the chance to see a movie six months before DVD is big. And yes, I also know that you can watch the movies online still as they are in theatres, but I also know watching them is illegal, and I am trying very hard to resist. :D
I'll see you in August!
Tomorrow, that is. The mega-sized super-rush wish has come together, and we're heading into St. John's tomorrow. Mega-sized, that is, because there are 12 people participating, where 6 is a large group normally. They are only for family, and your average family, let's face it, is not going to overfill a mini-van. And Super-rush, (yes, I know, I am really excelling myself with the appellations today. I'm tired, get over it. :P), because it has taken less than two weeks to get the whole thing arranged and started. Usually families will know what they are doing months in advance. Us, not so much. We decided that we were going soon on last Monday. And from there it snowballed.
For example, we put in our passport applications on Monday, they printed them on Tuesday, and they were picked up on Wednesday. Usually it takes 6 to 8 weeks. Two days, vs. 6 weeks. *ponders*
We're going to be gone for ten days, with fully half of that travel. :P No, it is not Easy-Peasy to get to other places from where I live. Jumping on the daily flight to New York is not an option. Anyhow, I'm going to go in in the morning with Fraulein, Slonner, Gid and Daddy, as Gid needs a blood transfusion before he travels. He therefore needs to get into the Janeway in the morning, and us girls will have the run on St. John's for most of the day. We are desolated. Especially seeing as Wall-e and Prince Caspian are both possibly still playing in theaters, and St. John's has a theatre.
At this point I sense laughter mingled with skepticism from those people who are near theatres, but I shall point out that we are four hours drive away from any theatre. So the chance to see a movie six months before DVD is big. And yes, I also know that you can watch the movies online still as they are in theatres, but I also know watching them is illegal, and I am trying very hard to resist. :D
I'll see you in August!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
"How much do you want forgettin'?"
Overheard in the library;
We have the dates! For the wish, we'll be leaving home on the 18 th, and returning home on the 28 th. Of July. When they (the powers-that-be) decided that we were going on the wish they didn't hang around! Mommy, Daddy and I are going into St. John's on Monday for our passports, since we're all adults. I know, it's a shock. My parents are adults. :P Anyhow, since we're fast-tracking the application process, rather a lot, we have to present our papers and photo id at the passport office in person. That should be fun! No, not the application process. If I remember it correctly from when I was 8 it's a tiny office in the top of a bank building, with superior people behind the wickets and vinyl seats. Though the seats have probably been changed since then. :D I remember official posters on the walls and a red take-a number dispenser, and there was a man tarring the neighboring roof. And it was a sunny day. Hmm, now that I've said all that, it will turn out that the day I remember was for our visa applications or something, and not passports at all. ANYWAY, the traveling with my parents should be fun, and going to Costco, which is also known as the warehouse containing joy.
I should take this opportunity, I think, to apologize to anyone who has been so- unfortunate- as to engage me in conversation in the past- two weeks or so. I mean, I was crazy before, but I'm exploring new frontiers of weirdness. I realized this week; I really have no intermediate setting between quiet in the corner and complete lunacy. I mean, on the scale of being comfortable in a situation, I go from;
"I thought you were dating him?"
"No, we aren't going out, we just randomly make out as often as
possible."
We have the dates! For the wish, we'll be leaving home on the 18 th, and returning home on the 28 th. Of July. When they (the powers-that-be) decided that we were going on the wish they didn't hang around! Mommy, Daddy and I are going into St. John's on Monday for our passports, since we're all adults. I know, it's a shock. My parents are adults. :P Anyhow, since we're fast-tracking the application process, rather a lot, we have to present our papers and photo id at the passport office in person. That should be fun! No, not the application process. If I remember it correctly from when I was 8 it's a tiny office in the top of a bank building, with superior people behind the wickets and vinyl seats. Though the seats have probably been changed since then. :D I remember official posters on the walls and a red take-a number dispenser, and there was a man tarring the neighboring roof. And it was a sunny day. Hmm, now that I've said all that, it will turn out that the day I remember was for our visa applications or something, and not passports at all. ANYWAY, the traveling with my parents should be fun, and going to Costco, which is also known as the warehouse containing joy.
I should take this opportunity, I think, to apologize to anyone who has been so- unfortunate- as to engage me in conversation in the past- two weeks or so. I mean, I was crazy before, but I'm exploring new frontiers of weirdness. I realized this week; I really have no intermediate setting between quiet in the corner and complete lunacy. I mean, on the scale of being comfortable in a situation, I go from;
- silent,
- to speaking when spoken to,
- to making occasional snarky comments without prompting,
- to communicating half in quotes, including entire so-called comedic monologues, and half in sarcasm.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
That's the thing about living...
Several things of note have happened since I last posted. My brother PT was home for the weekend, which was lovely. We watched Stranger than Fiction, which I would watch again, and Nacho Libre, which I wouldn't. :D No, it wasn't that bad, just, not my cuppa tea. The American version of "humiliate the main character" humour is not something I find funny most of the time. I say American, because I find Fawlty Towers hilarious, and Chef (the first episodes), and that humour is not the gentle kind, I'm afraid. Anyhow, I also loved the special effect at the beginning of STF, where Harold's life is being narrated, and white explanatory symbols keep popping up while he does things. Hmmm, that was a stunningly bad description. If you've seen it, hopefully you'll know what I'm talking about.
So that was the weekend. Then on Sunday Mommy and Daddy and Gideon went to St. John's for Gideon's assessment. If the drug was working, they would continue treatment, and be back on Saturday. However, they came back on Monday evening. The drug wasn't working. It was the last treatment option. So as soon as they came through the front door, I knew what had happened. It's funny. This doesn't come as a surprise, but it still hits very hard. The world feels curiously unreal, so that I'm not quite sure how people and things will react this time. I suppose that is from the fact that some people do react differently to me, and also since death is such an incomprehensible thing. What was that quote? "Death is an insult to life. We rage against the cessation of existence." So when it is obviously inevitable, and previously known, the foundations which direct your actions are shaken ever so slightly.
My mind has been working constantly since Monday evening. It's as though I have about four levels of thought going on at any one time, and as soon as one is resolved I fall through into another one. Yes, if there was any doubt about how I react to emotion, it's rapidly disappearing. I analyze. Given that I'm also rather tired from work, I don't necessarily analyze very efficiently, but still I pull apart my reactions and look at them from new angles all day.
Its interesting. From my past experiences, some things which would really freak out other people I can view completely sanguine. For example, I can look at the spectre of living without hot water, or lights, or an oven, without undue distress. I mean, I would grumble, but still, I know it's perfectly doable. If my dad was to say tomorrow that we were moving across the country, or out of the county, next week, I would be excited and looking forward to the new place. This is probably due to the fact that I had my first cross-continental move at 6 weeks of age, and my first intercontinental move when I was two. By my family always came along. Even when I moved out on my own I knew what was happening at home to an extant.
But the death of a family member is something completely outside of my experience, and it's weird. You have to keep living, without them. WEIRD. The doctors say that we won't have him for Christmas. He won't see his fifth birthday. Not learn to read. Not have kids. Not be taller than me. Not... Oh my. But the Doctors have also said that they will give him the finest drugs out there, and it won't be painful for him. Not everyone is so lucky, I suppose. I do believe that God has this ordained. Gideon's cancer did not take place because God looked away for a moment, or Satan won the coin toss. It was planned, and Gideon has lived and will live the exact life that was laid out for him. And he has a happy life, despite the needles and procedures. He's a lovely cheerful boy, though I won't get to introduce him to my classmates, I guess. I'm rambling. :D no good to hover in that line of thought. Okay.
Anyhow, one of the things that has changed in the plans is that Gideon's Wish is taking place at the end of this month. He wants to ride Snot Rod, from cars, so we'll probably go to Disney World. The details are being finalised today, actually. I was voting for Disneyland, in the hope that I could meet up with Third World somewhere, (It's only a 13 hour drive. NOTHING! :D) but it appears that my devious plots will not come to fruition. I guess, since it's supposed to be family thing, I shouldn't go gallivanting off to meet my friends, but come on! It's THIRD WORLD! :D
Oh, one more thing before I go. As we'll be going out of country for the wish, we all have to have current passports. So we've been filling out forms madly, and on Tuesday we went into Gander to have out pictures taken. On the way out of town, my carload received a phone call from Daddy. The photographer at Wal-mart had just called, and we weren't allowed to wear white, black, or sleeveless shirts for our picture. (No one knows why...) This is where things started going pear shaped, since I was wearing a white shirt.
Once we get to Wal-mart, the photographer lady informs us that my shirt is indeed white, not cream, as I was hoping, and I would have to find another shirt. Cue me descending on the markdown racks. I grab five shirts whose colours I like, and dash off to the changing rooms. Of the five summer shirts, four were cut low enough, that, let's just say that they were showing skin that never sees the light of day. Just basic summer tops, too. Odd. But the fifth was decent, and it had some kind of strange ribbing on the shoulder and neck. I looked at it and thought it looks kind of deviantart-ish. Sea nymph webbing style. I'll take it! And yes, most of the clothing I own that I really like was chosen for its character inspiration qualities. For example, I am currently wearing my assassin shirt. :D But Fraulein said that it looks medieval, and nice, so fear not!
I buy the shirt, and arrive at the photographer, after quick-changing in the bathroom. I sit down on the stool, and the photographer starts to have a hard time getting the camera to work. She, with a grin, says that the camera just doesn't like me. I grin in response, and the picture is finally taken. On the way back in the car, Mommy and I realise that she spoke truth in more ways than one. That was a BAD picture. Incredibly bad. I mean, I never need fear that I will look worse that my passport photo. I could be totally hungover and I'll still look fresh and alert next to that picture. It takes bad to a whole new level. The nice new shirt is hardly visible, and every trick of the light works against me to open up a new realm of awful.
Oh, you say, it can't be that bad.
It can.
I look like a sleazy drug addict. Greasy stringy hair; check. Unsteady posture; check. Glazed eyes that don't quite line up; check. (I had to take off my glasses, and couldn't really see the camera.) Nasty molestache; check. Unnatural pallor; check. Bad skin; check. Shadows under the eyes; check.
This is not a good photo.
And I live with it for five years...
So that was the weekend. Then on Sunday Mommy and Daddy and Gideon went to St. John's for Gideon's assessment. If the drug was working, they would continue treatment, and be back on Saturday. However, they came back on Monday evening. The drug wasn't working. It was the last treatment option. So as soon as they came through the front door, I knew what had happened. It's funny. This doesn't come as a surprise, but it still hits very hard. The world feels curiously unreal, so that I'm not quite sure how people and things will react this time. I suppose that is from the fact that some people do react differently to me, and also since death is such an incomprehensible thing. What was that quote? "Death is an insult to life. We rage against the cessation of existence." So when it is obviously inevitable, and previously known, the foundations which direct your actions are shaken ever so slightly.
My mind has been working constantly since Monday evening. It's as though I have about four levels of thought going on at any one time, and as soon as one is resolved I fall through into another one. Yes, if there was any doubt about how I react to emotion, it's rapidly disappearing. I analyze. Given that I'm also rather tired from work, I don't necessarily analyze very efficiently, but still I pull apart my reactions and look at them from new angles all day.
Its interesting. From my past experiences, some things which would really freak out other people I can view completely sanguine. For example, I can look at the spectre of living without hot water, or lights, or an oven, without undue distress. I mean, I would grumble, but still, I know it's perfectly doable. If my dad was to say tomorrow that we were moving across the country, or out of the county, next week, I would be excited and looking forward to the new place. This is probably due to the fact that I had my first cross-continental move at 6 weeks of age, and my first intercontinental move when I was two. By my family always came along. Even when I moved out on my own I knew what was happening at home to an extant.
But the death of a family member is something completely outside of my experience, and it's weird. You have to keep living, without them. WEIRD. The doctors say that we won't have him for Christmas. He won't see his fifth birthday. Not learn to read. Not have kids. Not be taller than me. Not... Oh my. But the Doctors have also said that they will give him the finest drugs out there, and it won't be painful for him. Not everyone is so lucky, I suppose. I do believe that God has this ordained. Gideon's cancer did not take place because God looked away for a moment, or Satan won the coin toss. It was planned, and Gideon has lived and will live the exact life that was laid out for him. And he has a happy life, despite the needles and procedures. He's a lovely cheerful boy, though I won't get to introduce him to my classmates, I guess. I'm rambling. :D no good to hover in that line of thought. Okay.
Anyhow, one of the things that has changed in the plans is that Gideon's Wish is taking place at the end of this month. He wants to ride Snot Rod, from cars, so we'll probably go to Disney World. The details are being finalised today, actually. I was voting for Disneyland, in the hope that I could meet up with Third World somewhere, (It's only a 13 hour drive. NOTHING! :D) but it appears that my devious plots will not come to fruition. I guess, since it's supposed to be family thing, I shouldn't go gallivanting off to meet my friends, but come on! It's THIRD WORLD! :D
Oh, one more thing before I go. As we'll be going out of country for the wish, we all have to have current passports. So we've been filling out forms madly, and on Tuesday we went into Gander to have out pictures taken. On the way out of town, my carload received a phone call from Daddy. The photographer at Wal-mart had just called, and we weren't allowed to wear white, black, or sleeveless shirts for our picture. (No one knows why...) This is where things started going pear shaped, since I was wearing a white shirt.
Once we get to Wal-mart, the photographer lady informs us that my shirt is indeed white, not cream, as I was hoping, and I would have to find another shirt. Cue me descending on the markdown racks. I grab five shirts whose colours I like, and dash off to the changing rooms. Of the five summer shirts, four were cut low enough, that, let's just say that they were showing skin that never sees the light of day. Just basic summer tops, too. Odd. But the fifth was decent, and it had some kind of strange ribbing on the shoulder and neck. I looked at it and thought it looks kind of deviantart-ish. Sea nymph webbing style. I'll take it! And yes, most of the clothing I own that I really like was chosen for its character inspiration qualities. For example, I am currently wearing my assassin shirt. :D But Fraulein said that it looks medieval, and nice, so fear not!
I buy the shirt, and arrive at the photographer, after quick-changing in the bathroom. I sit down on the stool, and the photographer starts to have a hard time getting the camera to work. She, with a grin, says that the camera just doesn't like me. I grin in response, and the picture is finally taken. On the way back in the car, Mommy and I realise that she spoke truth in more ways than one. That was a BAD picture. Incredibly bad. I mean, I never need fear that I will look worse that my passport photo. I could be totally hungover and I'll still look fresh and alert next to that picture. It takes bad to a whole new level. The nice new shirt is hardly visible, and every trick of the light works against me to open up a new realm of awful.
Oh, you say, it can't be that bad.
It can.
I look like a sleazy drug addict. Greasy stringy hair; check. Unsteady posture; check. Glazed eyes that don't quite line up; check. (I had to take off my glasses, and couldn't really see the camera.) Nasty molestache; check. Unnatural pallor; check. Bad skin; check. Shadows under the eyes; check.
This is not a good photo.
And I live with it for five years...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)