What's going on? Well...

I'm back from the Weston Lecture, which was good, but not inspiring. As I am ideologically opposed to starting school work at 10:15 at night, it looks like I have the rest of the evening off! *cheers*

I haven't been posting much lately, sorry. *shy* What's been going on? I'm done with my ~interesting~ philosophy paper. How good is it? Well, it's up to 10 pages... Let's not probe deeper, shall we?

What else do I have to do...

1. a 20 page philosophy reading
   
1. Due Monday
   
2. with a 12 question assignment
   
3. (we received this on Thursday evening.)
2. Art paper:
   
1. 10 pages
   
2. 11 pt
   
3. double-spaced
   
4. 1 in. margins
   
5. I have the question, and now after philosophy I know better what I'm doing.
6. Due next week
   
3. Dr. Patrick's "evolution pros and cons dialogue."
   
1. As many pages as you need, so at least 6, probably way more.
2. Due in three weeks
   
4. Read Martin Buber's I and Thou for philosophy.
   
1. It's a whole book.
2. Next week's Philosophy
   
5. Scriptures paper.
   
1. Comparing 3 writers
2. 10 pages
   
3. on an appropriate subject
   
4. I have NO IDEA!
5. Due end of the month
   
6. Literature paper.
   
1. No comment, really
2. Due first week in April
   
7. Somewhere in here we have a Literature Presentation.
8. Ongoing Latin Translations
9. Ongoing Philosophy readings.
10. Start revising for exams, which are in only four weeks.

And our professors ask us with straight faces what we're doing in our social lives. *grins*

Sigh.

This makes me tired.

You're a very smart girl, you're just surrounded by people who are much smarter than you!

Bah.

I always, (I have just realized this,) come out of Literature class feeling stupid, guilty about my selfishness, and generally worthless. A sneaking suspicion exists at the back of my head that this is not the point of the class, but I don't really know. I tend to be really non-articulate, and give exactly the oppisate impression from what I'm trying to say. Sigh.

Also, to complete my mood of wonder and light, I've found out that my philosophy paper had font size specified. *beats head against wall* I just got it up to 10 pages, and now that I had to take it from 12pt. to 11pt. it's only a hair over 7. *gloom*

I'm not even broaching the subject of the Art paper. (or the Scriptures paper (or the literature paper (or the paper for Dr. Patrick.)))

There was a funny moment in Literature class though. Professor Tucker was asking us if we did anything other than study, and we were answering in the negative. Then:

Prof. Tucker: Nothing?
Sue: We [her house] made hot chocolate that requires brandy, rum and vodka. Does that count?

Ah, Augustine...

Isn't he cute? I didn't think so.

There is a preponderance of creeping things in our house lately. I've seen two of those centipedes in the past week, (more than I've seen since Christmas,) and I've seen more spiders than I care to count. *shudders*

There was a spider on my headboard last night. It skittered away when I turned on the light, but I know it only went to join its friends. *is suspicious*

Then, when I went to look for a picture of a centipede, I came up with this : A Case of Mortal Necrotizing Fasciitis of the Trunk Resulting From a Centipede (Scolopendra moritans) Bite.

This doesn't make me feel good.

On a completely different subject... I've heard this conversation at least four times in the past month.

Two people talking about Latin, or Philosophy, or Scriptures class, or some such thing. Person 2 expresses an unusual opinion, such as "they like Latin."
Person 1: "You're such a Masochist!"
Person 2: "What?"
Person 1: "Sadist? Wait-" Grabs Person 3, who is waiting for the kettle to boil. "What's the one when you like pain?"
Person 3: "Masochist?"
Person 2: "Yeah, cause Sadist is when you like inflicting pain."
Person 1: "Right. You're a Masochist!"
Conversation continues as per normal.

I guess we like defining terms. *grins*

No food is better for you than not enough food?

First things first: I have been staying up too late lately, and this needs to stop.

I've been msning Third World's amusing friend Mind Kicker. (Freewill, Pan-handling, Website design and Upkeep-all the fun stuff. *grins*) But, he is three time zones away, in the wrong direction. It's not so bad if I talk to people from my home, cause it's later at home than it is here, and they eventually get off. But when you put me on the line with a night owl on the West coast, I have to watch the time myself. This is not spectacularly successful. "does that say three o-clock?" *sheepish*

This does not bode well for May. Home is at least 1.5 hours away from all my classmates' homes, and 5.5 away from those on the West coast. *cries* What am I gonna DOOOOOO!!!!!

I noticed today that the lack of sleep was an issue because of my griping mood, and my stunning intolerance of Music class. It was not a fun class, let's just say. And if I'm in that condition in Scriptures class, it'll be all I can do to keep from actively hitting myself in the head with something. *shudders* Scriptures class...

Let's think about something else. *eyes light upon title* Right.

Dr. Patrick said something very- odd, in class yesterday. He was talking about Fasting, and he said that if all you take in is water, and maybe some water-soluble vitamins, you can go 40 days without food easily. He of course also took the opportunity to poke fun at the Americans in the class, saying that many Americans could go a year without food. That's our Dr. Patrick! It seems that your body starts running very efficiently if you don't put anything into it, but if you mess it up with only a little bit of food, it's confused and you get health issues.

This seems to make sense, in a very odd way, but I'm a little confused as to why he put that information out there, knowing that I have had problems with food. He is rather notorious for being "no respecter of persons" if he thinks you or someone else in the room needs to hear the information. But still, I don't know. You function at normal? No one would know that you weren't eating? That's dangerous information to be dropping around.

Oh, who am I kidding. He probably thinks there isn't an issue with me hearing that info; I was never admitted after all. If my presence crossed his mind at all. *sigh* I am remarkably invisible when the professors are concerned. Case in point; three Latin classes running I haven't been called on, despite other people in the class translating two or three times- and this has been happening off and on all year.

I fly under the radar.

Now it's time to go do some homework, so that when I bump the radar again I don't die. *grins*

*slinks off to assault Latin*

After this, furthermore, nextly- wait.

I got my Presentation done today! *collapses from relief* I did a 10 minute presentation in Science, Medicine and Faith on Human Language Development and Acquisition, specifically First Languages.

We're looking at Darwinism is Science class, and we each have to do a 10 minute presentation on a subject that is often used in evolutionary debates. I have come to the conclusion that I am not a scientist. However, the others said that I did a good job *sceptical* and now that's one less thing to worry about!

The class was- amusing. Moon Unit has a cold, so she had to leave the class because of a coughing fit. Third World and I told her later that God gave her that cold so that she wouldn't have to sit though the discussion of homosexuality. That was definitely a case of TMI.

Tomorrow, Music paper due and Latin Quiz. *blinks* Actually, that's today now, isn't it. Time to sleep.

*wanders off to bed*

To Do

I'm making a list so that I don't forget. This week I need to:

1. Write my 10 page philosophy research paper
1. Question
2. Research
3. Write
4. Revise at least once
   
2. Get up to date in my Art textbook
3. Read Denton.
4. Read Philosophy text, Kant and Hume
5. Translate Practise and Review sentences in Chapter 15 of Wheelock's Latin
6. Go to War Museum with Stephanie
7. Go to Museum of Civilization
8. Continue writing 1000 words a day on my story
9. Think of and being researching a question for my Literature paper
10. Sleep
11. Eat
12. Have fun.

Sounds like a good week!

After consultation with Stephanie, we decided that the two professors who expect the best work out of us also want us to do it on short notice. Dr. Patrick likes to assign things to be done yesterday. Dr. Tingley gave us our paper parameters on two weeks notice. Now I'm slightly scared because we have another paper for Tingley due the week after the philosophy paper, with no news yet. However, I will overcome! Or at least crash and burn really dramatically!

"I pass the test"

In the past few days, I've found out that my sister Frauline is possibly going on a trip to England, and by brother the Piano Tech, aka PT, is possibly going to Dubai. Dubai! That is so cool! *dances in a circle, grinning madly* "

See those people, those people over there? I'm related to them!"

Also my presentation subject for Dr. Patrick is quite interesting, (Language Games, specifically acquisition and syntax). This is good, given that I may present it on Tuesday. I had resolved to present it before Reading Week, thinking that meant next week. However, I recently looked at the calender and realized I was off by a week. *sheepish* I still really want to get it done before Reading Week, but I'm not quite sure if I can pull it together in time.

*hears Winston Churchill in back of head, "Never surrender"*

I'll see what I can do. Dr. Patrick is a scary professor to give work to, cause you're never quite sure what he expects. I was cringing madly over the paper I turned in during December, but then I got an A-. And I was expecting to fail, it seemed so flimsy. Maybe he'll have mercy on my lack of scientific knowledge?

In other news, I'm making a rhubarb crumble, as my craving finally overrode my distaste at Paying for rhubarb. Also, we're going to the symphony tomorrow.

There is nothing more real than this, nothing more terrible.

This week in Philosophy we're reading Descartes and Pascal. They're interesting. I like the way the translator, um, translated. Also, these men are covering subjects we haven't hit previously, which is cool. I'm looking forward the the lecture.

This is a nice change, also, because in this semester to date the classes have been rather "flat, stale and unprofitable." No eureka moments, and no classes where I walk out saying "that was so amazingly cool." I'm used to the classes now. I seem to remember someone warning me about that... *smile* Hopefully I'll get inspired, about my papers at least.

Ah, Moon unit and I baked today, so now the kitchen is full of bread. I was teaching her and decided that she would make two loves, while I would make four. Halfway into mixing, I realized that the recipe I had doubled made four loaves, not two. Opps.

So now there are 12 loaves worth of bread ornamenting every flat surface in the kitchen.

I keep meaning to call my family and friends, and then when I remember the phone is in use. If you haven't got a call from me, that doesn't in any way mean that I am not thinking of you! (just so you know.)

Machiavelli, such an optimist

“… This is to be asserted in general of men, that they are ungrateful, fickle, false, cowardly, covetous, and as long as you succeed they are yours entirely: they will offer you their blood, property, life and children, as is said above, when the need is far distant; but when it approaches they turn against you.”-chapter 17, The Prince

Did I actually just write this sentence?

Happiness does not consist in the soul reflecting on itself: first, because the inherently imperfect soul, which desires its own perfection, does not improve by contemplating imperfection; second, because as happiness is the highest perfection of man, the soul, which is aware that things exist higher than its self, cannot rest except in the highest good, which is God.

I just wrote a sentece that has 59 words, (312 characters,) in it. This is what happens when you try to condense St. Thomas Aquinas. It's all the dependent clauses.

UPDATE:

Perfect happiness cannot consist in Man’s spirit being borne towards God by his creations; first, because knowledge of God through his creation consists in the mind’s movement from one stage to another, and not in a final end; secondly, because perfect happiness consists in a perfect adherence of the human mind with perfection, but all created things are imperfect; third, according to right order, lesser things are know by greater, therefore God, who is the supreme good, cannot be more known by means of lesser goods.

This one has 86 words. Painful!!!

Another turn of the wheel goes round...

All my thoughts are trite. I'm stuck in a rut of trivial, hackneyed old ideas that have not only been too much in my own head, but also excessively in the world. Vexation!

However, music is my salvation. I start to understand why my brother can spend hours playing, or my dad, day in and day out. I can't play myself, but listening comes closer than the echoes in my own head.

Well, Latin was today, and while I still died, it was not quite as badly as last week. I progress ever so slowly. Step by step up the hill. I slip, but it is important to keep moving, (or facing,) in the right direction. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I think I prefer Lewis

I've finished Lilith. That is a very strange book. It was mentioned before that George Macdonald is rather similar to C.S. Lewis, but I think I really prefer Lewis. Macdonald is a leetle obsessed with death, and he tends to not be orthodox. Which is a slightly disconcerting for an extended allegory. Ah well!

I also finished Aquinas, which was good, thought I prefer Aristotle. And I called Air Canada. They STILL don't know where my bags are, but they'll recompense me for up to $100 USD in clothing and toiletries. So I intend to spend $100.00 USD. Shopping!

Life in the Big City

I'm quite enjoying myself now back at College. I met RM, Moon-Unit and Third World in the Kitchen on Sunday, and it was basically as though we had never left. Chatting away right away. It is us four who constitute Augustine Munitions, I have decided. (We're the bomb! : )

We dove right in with a discussion of freewill on Monday in Philosophy, which was very hard, but interesting! I tell myself that I will not totally enjoy any of the classes this week, and after I am adjusted it will be better. And yet, I am already enjoying the classes, so this bodes well for the year to come.

We had a painful lecture on the relationship between God and Reason in Art class, (Tuesday.) Namely, that choosing between them is a false dichotomy. For me God is reasonable. He invented reason. He is reason. However, for the med students and Public schooled people in the class, this involved a bunch of mental re-jigging. It was mainly painful, come to think of it, because I had seen the art that we will cover when we get to the Renaissance, and I wanted to see what the Prof was going to say about them. We didn't really cover any art. Next week...

Then we had Dr Patrick's class on Tuesday, and that was Quite interesting. He gave an overview of what we will cover, talked about our papers, and then talked about... Sexuality. Dr. Patrick tackles all the topics no one else really wants to touch; except really I don't have a problem visualizing any of my profs discussing "Dr. Patrick's topics". Maybe, the topics the students don't want to touch. It was actually a very interesting/useful lecture though, despite the high proportion of "I really wish I wasn't here right now" moments. Dr. Patrick asking Lamd how long it took for guys to be ready for sex? *yucky dance!* Moon-unit and I were sitting across from each other, and we hid our heads in our hands in unison. By the end of the class I was picturing ice cubes being dropped down my back in an effort to keep a straight face. Yes, Dr. Patrick is back with a vengence!

For Book Club this term we are reading The four loves, by C. S. Lewis, which I am really enjoying. I think I should make an effort to read more Lewis, because I really like the book. Em is leading the discussion as well, which is cool.

Let me see, we also had Latin class on Wednesday, of which the history discussion of Cataline and Agustus was excellent, and the quiz was excruciating. *pulls a veil over the quiz* Let's not talk about that.

Music on Wednesday was fun. I'm adjusted fairly well to Prof Warren's style now, and even enjoy his side excursions up and down the sides of music history. We talked about Bach and Handel.

Prof W. He wrote the music for the Royal Fireworks, but unfortunately the fireworks went wrong. They blew up. *pauses to consider several tons of fireworks going off together* The music survived though!

That is still not my favourite class, but it is certainly becoming fun.

Now today we had literature class. Professor Tucker is essentially cool, and I really enjoyed it. We got the verdict on our fiction pieces everyone was so worried over. *tears hair methodically* Everyone was in the eighties, except for Rach, who got a 95! I could very easily let myself become jealous of that mark, because I know she worked on it for a week and I worked on mine for at least three weeks - only hers was very very good. Prof Tucker read it aloud and I was entirely sucked in. She certainly has the gift of words. In addition to money, looks, brains, artistic talent, musical talent, acting talent and a boyfriend. *dead silence*

However, by the Grace of God I don't mind. My God is Able. I wouldn't want her life, (mine is better, : ) and she is nice. Besides, Prof. Tucker said he was discussing my writing style with Dr. Patrick (!) and they agreed I have "incredible breadth of diction." I had to look that up. *sheepish*

dic·tion

1.	style of speaking or writing as dependent upon choice of words: good diction.

Diction usually implies a high level of usage; it refers chiefly to the choice of words, their arrangement, and the force, accuracy, and distinction with which they are used: The speaker was distinguished for his excellent diction; poetic diction.

Now if only I can keep that up into this term...

Scriptures class was this afternoon, and my patience was GONE. For no real reason, it just disappeared while I was boiling the kettle for tea. No, that's a lie. It disappeared during a discussion of Christmas in Lit. I was reminded forcibly that I come from a different income bracket than many of my classmates. There was nothing really annoying there, just the calm assumption that everyone would have, more money than I think I do. I kept my mouth shut, made myself tea, and had no patience when Scriptures class rolled around. Hmmmm

It wasn't that bad. I took class notes, and made a list of what Air Canada has lost me. They still haven't found my luggage, so I'm calling them tomorrow to talk about repayment. Just inside my head, it looks as though I might possibley be able to live off the money for the rest of the term. I don't really need new clothes, so if after re-buying my books I have $500 I'll be living well! We'll see.

Then today I went to the Met! I wasn't really interested, but I told myself sternly that I had to get outside the Augustine Bubble, and went. It was quite good! They're talking about love for the next five weeks, which dovetails neatly with The Four Loves, so I'm definitely going at least that long. The singing was nice, though there wasn't much passion! Come on people, get your body language into this at least! You look like you're standing in a Customs line-up! I rocked it out for "better is one day," which I didn't realize I was familiar with. I just knew it was not to be sung in a lacklustre way, and didn't. No dancing, never fear, but I had my head going. : ) Passion, People! It won't hurt much to act like you believe it!

The sermon was interesting. I kept seeing "logical errors", and then realizing that they were not actually, he just hadn't explained himself first. I've been spoiled with Class discussion, my Profs, and my Dad! Then after there was coffee downstairs. I fear I may have been rude unintentially. I was getting some chocolate and overheard three men having a discussion of free will. I thought, "Philosophy! I have ammunition! I just read On Grace and Free Will!" So I stood there and listened openly for five minutes. By this time the discussion had shrunk to two men. THEN, when one guy was saying that he didn't like the idea of irresistible grace I jumped in with the idea of an entirely corrupted will. Total depravity, only I didn't put it in that way, since that phrase seems to elicit a knee-jerk response from some people. At any rate, I commented only one other time, and the discussion ended. The two men walked away, and I realized that maybe jumping into other people's theological discussions without so much as a prior name-exchange might not be the best idea. Oops. Again, I've been spoiled by Class discussions. However, the man who was arguing for irresistible grace is in a leadership position in the church, so that quiets some of the lingering uneasiness I had about the theology. It should be fun.

Now this weekend I have to read 22 pages of Aquinas, learn the three perfect tenses in four conjugations of Latin, translate 12 sentences of Latin, read the 10th book of Paradise Lost, and read Lilith. Easy! Oh, I also have to buttonhole Air Canada. The weekend suddenly looks challenging. Just breathe, and One Day at a Time!

My God is able.

Be who you are.

I said I'd try and find a delusion every month to point out, but this is not so much a delusion discovered as an epiphany.

In Trivium this week the class looked at an essay by Annie Dillard, Living like Weasels. We talked about a number of things, but the point that was really driven home for me came out of this line;

The thing is to stalk your calling in a certain skilled and supple way...

This line was picked upon, and started a discussion about finding your calling. A certain person who shall remain nameless gave a discourse on how what is wrong with our education system is that it does not allow people to follow their interests until they graduate. As a result, the immature people this produces don't know what career to choose and spend their twenties "finding themselves". I then started feeling defensive because I don't have a sweet clue what I'm going to do after this year is up. Anyhow, the conversation dwelt for a while on this topic, with a general sense of growing uncomfortableness from most of the class, because most of the class is also undecided in what to do next year. Just when I was feeling mildly wretched, Texas, bless her heart, made a wonderful remark. She said that we often equate "calling" with "career", when it is much more than that. Your calling is to be the person God made you to be; a parent, a musician, an arithmetician, an architect, or any combination thereof.

This makes so much sense it is almost uncanny. All my philosophy lectures for the past three months converged elegantly into this point! The thing is to know oneself, to be who you are, to flourish. If you are fulfilling the purpose of man, your career will either progress logically from your knowledge of who you are, or be incidental. It is not the only thing which defines you. This is amazing to me.

Ironic side note: When there was the general discussion of how our education system is flawed since it forces everyone to take the same classes, the homeschoolers in the room were strangely silent... We have already mangled the Public vs. Home school issue, and neither side really wants to open that can of worms again, but I did smile internally.