The retreat

So, here is the story about the retreat I've been going on about for two weeks. I was quite excited about it, as you might have been able to tell. And then, some of my classmates asked me if I was going on the retreat, who were not going themselves. I said yes, and then started to think about how well I usually do in social situations among people my own age. How well I fit in with first year university students and their ilk. That was when I realized that I did not want to go. I would rather have gone to the dentist. I would rather have flown Air Canada. I would rather have been stuck in an airport for the weekend.

But I still went. Why? I'm stubborn, mainly. Also I heard my Dad's voice in the back of my head, saying that I needed to get out and talk to people. No cloistering!

So I was walking down the street thinking that I was going to be stomach sick. About the walking... It's two miles to the church, and I was carrying what I was going to live in for the next three days. As I have no upper body strength to speak of, I explored new boundaries of packing light.

Thankfully, upon my arrival, I did meet some first year university students, but there were also some very interesting people. I met a girl who's taking an agriculture program, specifically horses, one who works for the army in communications, another who is in the army in communications, a statistician, and another girl who is her last year of teacher's college. And that was in the first 30 minutes! [this bodes well]

We were staying at a Tim Horton's camp in Quebec. It was very nice. I have stayed in hotels that are significantly less nice. The food was very good as well. Free coffee, soda, hot chocolate, tea, and French Vanilla. *dreamy smile*

As is usual, we were divided in teams, (all named after fairy tale characters. ) I was on Sleeping Beauty. We played games for points all weekend. Also usual. I tried to stop people twice my weight in British Bulldog and knocked us both flying. All per normal.

However, there was a nice spread of games and other point earning activities. There were indeed sports, which I do not excel at, let's just say. However, there were also fairy tale trivia quizzes. At the end of the weekend I was being called my team's secret weapon, and had been asked twice if I was an English Lit. major. "we all have our strengths..."

So, the games were good, I met interesting people, the food was good, and the facilities were good. Is there anything else at a church retreat? Ah, yes. The speaker. He was good but not as good as the professors at Augustine. It's a little funny, because I overheard quite a few people talking animatedly about how good he was, nd Paster Jeff said that his class was the best in his four years of bible college! Just goes to show the class of teaching that goes on here...

Overall, it was very good that I went. On Saturday night, I was able to think over some things that I've been worried about. All right, that is not very informative... I've been terrified about the future whenever I think about it, what with Gid, and my lack of career direction, and food. So I've responded by not thinking about it. I had intellectual reasons for not being worried, but they had NOT trickled down to an emotional response. Outside of the context of school, I was able to think them through, and do a lot of praying. And God gave me emotional peace for the future. It's funny, I knew even then that I would not always be unworried, but it was such a relief to not worry for even a small time. I was remembering something Dr. Patrick said; that you will have times when you do not feel good, and then you remember the good times. Not try to recreate them, but remember them. For that time, I could not find something in my life that caused me sorrow. I was able to trust God entirely for the future.

I wept with joy. And I don't normally cry for anything.

So, I know that part of that's the "retreat effect", but I think I remembered some very important things about trusting God, and learned some others.

Yes, you were all right. It was a good idea that I should go on the retreat, and I would have a good time. (bah humbug : )

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell...

This was a good evening. I was feeling better, and then Third World, Star, Moon Unit and I all went to the Met for dinner. They were having a "newcomers dinner." (Free food + inside=students in attendance.) Moon Unit almost didn't come, and then at the last moment she freed up her evening. *cheering* She's applying for colleges, and having issues with the online application forms.

There are no tick-boxes for people like me!

(She's home schooled.) At any rate, it was decided that her issue with the college would not be fixed in this evening, so she got to come along. The dinner was quite good. A nice salad, and rolls, *smiles happily*, and pasta with a chicken, mushroom and peppers cream sauce. There were two tables of people in attendance, so we played a game, table against table. A question would be asked, "how many of X do you have?" and the table would say the combined sum of the quantity of x represented at their table. The table with the highest sum would win a point. So, we were asked; how many buttons at your table, how many pets do you have, how many shoes... One girl stopped counting at 45 pairs of shoes. She also had spent 6 and a half hours on Facebook that day. I was able to assist my team rather well on the questions; How many siblings, and how many houses have you lived in? Yes, I pretty much pwned those questions! (makes up for my contribution to the button, shoes, and facebook-hours questions. : ) My table won, of course.

Then we went up for the official meeting. There was a different worship team this time, and I wasn't quite crazy about it. There was a high proportion of the "God-you-are-so-great-'cause-you-did-this-for-me,-therefore-I-will-do-this-for-you" type songs. Not my favourite. I think I may have been a trifle hard on people last week for not getting into the music. *shame and remorse*

The talk itself was good. I like Pastor Jeff's speaking style, keeping his hearers listening;

"True love is public, and that doesn't mean I want you making out in the pews on Sunday."

He knows his audience! Moreover, you have to respect a man who is popping pills for a head splitting cold, then gives no sign for an hour of speaking, mainly from memory. I'm also a sucker for dry humour and/or sarcasm. *sheepish* I'm not sure if I'd agree across the board with the Met's theology, but I can live quite happily with what they choose to talk about and live out. Some churches like to dwell on the issues I have the most issues with, or that are the most divisive, but thankfully I'm not picking that up here. I suppose churches sometimes feel the need to separate themselves from other people, and the only way they choose to do that is to emphasize what is different about themselves. At any rate, I enjoy the teaching, I can live with the music, and the attendees appear to be not too different from myself. I'm going on a retreat tomorrow, so that should be fun!

Oh, afterwards they serve coffee and cookies, and I was talking to Third World while Moon Unit talked to half the people in the room, which she is old friends with. I accused Third World of looking innocent while in actual fact she is plotting devious replies, and she said;

"*splutter* You do it all the time- you're doing it now! Looking innocent and demure while you're really the dark-hearted goddess of chaos!"

I seem to have acquired quite a reputation.

In my defence, I have to say that Maritime humour is significantly more cynical then the rest of the continent, and I am the only east coaster. Add to that a propinquity for sarcasm and affinity for dry-as-dust jokes, and you have a promising combination! Ah, good times, good times.

Can we go bowling?

-enter random thought snippets-

My luggage is finally here! It arrived at about 6pm yesterday. Both Pieces. Hooray! Now, if Air Canada will only recompense me for the things I bought for the interim yesterday... Ah well, I got a lovely blue dress for the symphony, and the Lush store was having a sale, so I got some soaps and such.

I went to the Sunday service at the Met today, which was good. I'm still not particularly thrilled at being alone in such a big crowd, but the sermon was good, and there was one good song in the singing. Then when walking out afterwards, I heard the following exchange.
Little Girl: Can we go bowling?
Mother: Not on the Lord's Day.
Little Girl: Can we go swimming?
Mother: We'll go sledding when we get home.
I don't understand what is particularly wrong with bowling on Sunday, but to each his own, I guess?


Third World lent me a book last night, Fall of a Kingdom, which was SO fun! Of the three main characters,

• one is an arrogant spoiled noblewoman,
  
• one is a bitter traitor,
• and one is a insecure emo kid trying to prove himself, and failing.

It must have been such fun to write those charters! The book is one in a trilogy, and Third World assures me that there is massive character development in the other two books. I am quite excited to read them. *smiles cheerily*

I have discovered an issue with my reading style. If I'm reading something which I enjoy, like Lilith, I feel I must finish it in one sitting. 250 pages, gone. However, if I'm reading something I'm not a fan of, such as Aquinas, I have no issue whatsoever with walking away from it. I need to switch those!

And, what else is going on... Oh, I'm going on a retreat with the Met Young Adults! Next weekend. It's at the Tim Horton's Camp, and we've been promised "coffee on tap". Hmm, not so sure that wasn't sarcasm, but it should be fun!
-end random thought snippets-

Life in the Big City

I'm quite enjoying myself now back at College. I met RM, Moon-Unit and Third World in the Kitchen on Sunday, and it was basically as though we had never left. Chatting away right away. It is us four who constitute Augustine Munitions, I have decided. (We're the bomb! : )

We dove right in with a discussion of freewill on Monday in Philosophy, which was very hard, but interesting! I tell myself that I will not totally enjoy any of the classes this week, and after I am adjusted it will be better. And yet, I am already enjoying the classes, so this bodes well for the year to come.

We had a painful lecture on the relationship between God and Reason in Art class, (Tuesday.) Namely, that choosing between them is a false dichotomy. For me God is reasonable. He invented reason. He is reason. However, for the med students and Public schooled people in the class, this involved a bunch of mental re-jigging. It was mainly painful, come to think of it, because I had seen the art that we will cover when we get to the Renaissance, and I wanted to see what the Prof was going to say about them. We didn't really cover any art. Next week...

Then we had Dr Patrick's class on Tuesday, and that was Quite interesting. He gave an overview of what we will cover, talked about our papers, and then talked about... Sexuality. Dr. Patrick tackles all the topics no one else really wants to touch; except really I don't have a problem visualizing any of my profs discussing "Dr. Patrick's topics". Maybe, the topics the students don't want to touch. It was actually a very interesting/useful lecture though, despite the high proportion of "I really wish I wasn't here right now" moments. Dr. Patrick asking Lamd how long it took for guys to be ready for sex? *yucky dance!* Moon-unit and I were sitting across from each other, and we hid our heads in our hands in unison. By the end of the class I was picturing ice cubes being dropped down my back in an effort to keep a straight face. Yes, Dr. Patrick is back with a vengence!

For Book Club this term we are reading The four loves, by C. S. Lewis, which I am really enjoying. I think I should make an effort to read more Lewis, because I really like the book. Em is leading the discussion as well, which is cool.

Let me see, we also had Latin class on Wednesday, of which the history discussion of Cataline and Agustus was excellent, and the quiz was excruciating. *pulls a veil over the quiz* Let's not talk about that.

Music on Wednesday was fun. I'm adjusted fairly well to Prof Warren's style now, and even enjoy his side excursions up and down the sides of music history. We talked about Bach and Handel.

Prof W. He wrote the music for the Royal Fireworks, but unfortunately the fireworks went wrong. They blew up. *pauses to consider several tons of fireworks going off together* The music survived though!

That is still not my favourite class, but it is certainly becoming fun.

Now today we had literature class. Professor Tucker is essentially cool, and I really enjoyed it. We got the verdict on our fiction pieces everyone was so worried over. *tears hair methodically* Everyone was in the eighties, except for Rach, who got a 95! I could very easily let myself become jealous of that mark, because I know she worked on it for a week and I worked on mine for at least three weeks - only hers was very very good. Prof Tucker read it aloud and I was entirely sucked in. She certainly has the gift of words. In addition to money, looks, brains, artistic talent, musical talent, acting talent and a boyfriend. *dead silence*

However, by the Grace of God I don't mind. My God is Able. I wouldn't want her life, (mine is better, : ) and she is nice. Besides, Prof. Tucker said he was discussing my writing style with Dr. Patrick (!) and they agreed I have "incredible breadth of diction." I had to look that up. *sheepish*

dic·tion

1.	style of speaking or writing as dependent upon choice of words: good diction.

Diction usually implies a high level of usage; it refers chiefly to the choice of words, their arrangement, and the force, accuracy, and distinction with which they are used: The speaker was distinguished for his excellent diction; poetic diction.

Now if only I can keep that up into this term...

Scriptures class was this afternoon, and my patience was GONE. For no real reason, it just disappeared while I was boiling the kettle for tea. No, that's a lie. It disappeared during a discussion of Christmas in Lit. I was reminded forcibly that I come from a different income bracket than many of my classmates. There was nothing really annoying there, just the calm assumption that everyone would have, more money than I think I do. I kept my mouth shut, made myself tea, and had no patience when Scriptures class rolled around. Hmmmm

It wasn't that bad. I took class notes, and made a list of what Air Canada has lost me. They still haven't found my luggage, so I'm calling them tomorrow to talk about repayment. Just inside my head, it looks as though I might possibley be able to live off the money for the rest of the term. I don't really need new clothes, so if after re-buying my books I have $500 I'll be living well! We'll see.

Then today I went to the Met! I wasn't really interested, but I told myself sternly that I had to get outside the Augustine Bubble, and went. It was quite good! They're talking about love for the next five weeks, which dovetails neatly with The Four Loves, so I'm definitely going at least that long. The singing was nice, though there wasn't much passion! Come on people, get your body language into this at least! You look like you're standing in a Customs line-up! I rocked it out for "better is one day," which I didn't realize I was familiar with. I just knew it was not to be sung in a lacklustre way, and didn't. No dancing, never fear, but I had my head going. : ) Passion, People! It won't hurt much to act like you believe it!

The sermon was interesting. I kept seeing "logical errors", and then realizing that they were not actually, he just hadn't explained himself first. I've been spoiled with Class discussion, my Profs, and my Dad! Then after there was coffee downstairs. I fear I may have been rude unintentially. I was getting some chocolate and overheard three men having a discussion of free will. I thought, "Philosophy! I have ammunition! I just read On Grace and Free Will!" So I stood there and listened openly for five minutes. By this time the discussion had shrunk to two men. THEN, when one guy was saying that he didn't like the idea of irresistible grace I jumped in with the idea of an entirely corrupted will. Total depravity, only I didn't put it in that way, since that phrase seems to elicit a knee-jerk response from some people. At any rate, I commented only one other time, and the discussion ended. The two men walked away, and I realized that maybe jumping into other people's theological discussions without so much as a prior name-exchange might not be the best idea. Oops. Again, I've been spoiled by Class discussions. However, the man who was arguing for irresistible grace is in a leadership position in the church, so that quiets some of the lingering uneasiness I had about the theology. It should be fun.

Now this weekend I have to read 22 pages of Aquinas, learn the three perfect tenses in four conjugations of Latin, translate 12 sentences of Latin, read the 10th book of Paradise Lost, and read Lilith. Easy! Oh, I also have to buttonhole Air Canada. The weekend suddenly looks challenging. Just breathe, and One Day at a Time!

My God is able.