Something to make you chortle.

The best Christian Pick-up Lines.

• Nice bible.
• Is this pew taken?
• I just don't feel called to celibacy.
• For you I would slay two Goliaths!
• I would go through more than Job for you.
• You are perfect, except with all the sin.
• When Moses struck the rock, water flowed from it like a river. I promise I will never strike you.
• You are so unblemished that I would sacrifice you.
• What, this here? Oh.. that's my study bible - it's a little bigger but I can handle the extra spiritual and physical weight.
• Shall we tithe?
• At points in my life I have been referred to as Samson.
• The word says 'Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry'; how about dinner?
• I didnt believe in predestination until tonight.
• I believe one of my ribs belongs to you.
• I know Lachlan Payne.
• (If the above gains no response) Lachlan Payne knows me.
• I went on a beach mission but all I ended up doing was missin' you.
• I can be your Boaz.
• My spiritual gift is my good looks... it lifts people's spirits.
• I sacrifice my Sunday mornings to look after the creche group. It's tough... but I love children.
• Is this the transfiguration? Because you are glowing.
• I have a job and I'm willing to move away from home.
• Mark driscoll takes up 35% of my ipod memory.
• Hey... I would work 7 years for your sister... but I would work 7 more years for you.
• I'm kind of a big deal at Koorong.
• Hey good-looking, Ecclesiastes 4:11.
• Absolutely. i often throw clothes into the samaritan bin.
• Bible-gateway happens to be my homepage.
• Marry me.
• Can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?
• I have many sponsor children. one in each developing nation.
• I'm one of the fortunate ones. Greek and hebrew come pretty easily to me.
• My favourite species of vegetation is the church plant.
• Did I just have mud rubbed in my eyes?
• What's an xbox?
• Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives; Because he never met you.
• I used to believe in natural theology, but since I met you I've converted to divine revelation.
• I look after widows.
• Is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV Travel Bible in your pocket?
• Why don't i have a bible dictionary? well, I dont really need it.
• Bathsheba had nothing on you.
• You put the 'cute' back in persecution!
• Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead.
• So, can I clothe you in righteousness?
• How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?
• How would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?
• If you say no, I will rip out my hair and my beard.
• If you say no, I'm going to tear my clothes, get in my sackcloth and rub dust into my head.
• If you say no, I'm going on a pilgrimage.
• Unfortunately I can't perform miracles and I've only got enough bread and fish for 2 people.
• So, my parents are home, you wanna come over?
• Let me remove my sandals before I come any closer.
• Let's say, hypothetically, you were married. I would send your husband to the front line against the Amorites.
• It's obvious to me that you sprouted from the good kind of soil.
• Feel free to meet me at the threshing floor.
• You can lie at my feet...
• If I had to choose between a romantic date with you or a night with the fellas... I would sit at home and read my bible.
• I really like your spirituality, it goes well with that shirt.
• Welcome to the christian family-the only family where brothers and sisters can marry each other.
• I did a love tester on your name and mine.. it came back 'predestined.'
• You're totally depraved but I'd still like to go out with you...
• You can come crash at my place tonight. I have a separate room prepared.
• I'm a proverbs 32 kind of guy and you're a proverbs 31 kinda woman.
• I'm interested in full time ministry, and I also play the guitar.
• If we were around with Noah... then you, me... pair.
• I arrange the substantial christian section of my bookshelf into alphabetical order. coffee?
• I sit with my mum at church.
• Let me sell you an indulgence because it's a sin to look as good as you do.
• Not a big fan of your last name, but thats cool, I can change that.
• Solomon had 700 wives. You can be my 2nd girlfriend. But bring your friends.
• I have a bible verse tattoo. It's permanent. It's also in ancient greek.
• I consider myself to be fisher of women. This would be referred to as "casting my net."
• I'm pretty much considered an elder in the congregation these days.
• It would be my honor to present you spotless on the last day.
• Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix.
• When i read Philippians 4:8, i think about you.
• I prayed up the front at church tonight.
• Look, you're nearly 22. Most christians are 3 years into marriage by now; just settle for me.
• I come from Egypt... the same place Moses lived.
• My general biblical knowledge is quite vast, probably because i finished bible trivia as a child.
• Who's your favorite apostle?
• You make the Queen of Sheba look like a hobo.
• I have familiarised myself with all 5 love languages, in fact, i invented 4 of them.
• Let's go for a ride in my zondervan.
• I like to think that I'm all things to all women.
• Have you died before? Because that looks like a resurrection body to me.
• All I'm looking for is a Godly woman. I don't care that you're not attractive.
• You float my ark.
• I've been called the 11th Plague of Egypt: Boogy Fever.
• As Shammah the son of Agee a Hararite protected the field of lentils, so i wish to protect you.
• You make me want to be a better Christian.
• I will never give you reason to hammer a tent peg through my skull.
• I predicted David over Goliath... now I'm betting on you and me.
• If you were staying for the tribulation, I would consider staying too.. but then I would probably leave."
• If you were a leper, i would still hold your hand.. even if it wasnt attached.
• I would have asked you out to dinner, but I just put all my money in the offeratory basket.
• Hi, I'm Calvin. You were meant to choose me.
• Unlike the Israelites, who forgot the Lord, I will remember your name most of the time.
• You are a galations 5 fruit salad.
• I mentioned you in my testimony.
• The perseverance of the saints is well illustrated by the amount of time I spend talking to you.
• The Lord Jesus was into carpentry. I'm doing an apprenticeship.
• If you were my wife, I would never make you pretend to be my sister. That would be too damaging to my reputation.
• I would bring your father twelve-hundred Philistine foreskins for just one date with you.
• I saw Chris Tomlin in concert once.
• Last week, I read Jeremiah, Isaiah and Ezekiel. It's all part of my 'Read-The-Bible in 30 days Course.'