Legal-speak. The dialect that can make a sentence turn around and swallow its own tail.

15. Disclaimer and Limitation of Liability.

YOU ACKNOWLEDGE AND AGREE THAT IN NO EVENT WILL THE COMPANY, ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, AGENTS AND REPRESENTATIVES BE LIABLE FOR ANY INCIDENTAL, INDIRECT, SPECIAL, EXEMPLARY, AGGRAVATED, PUNITIVE OR CONSEQUENTIAL LOSSES, CLAIMS, DAMAGES, LIABILITIES, OBLIGATIONS, AND EXPENSES (COLLECTIVELY, THE "CLAIMS") ARISING OUT OF THE SERVICES PROVIDED TO YOU UNDER THIS PARTICIPATION ACCOUNT AGREEMENT AND ANY PLAN(S) EXCEPT TO THE EXTENT THAT SUCH CLAIMS HAVE BEEN CAUSED BY THE GROSS NEGLIGENCE, WILLFUL ACT OR WILLFUL DEFAULT OF THE COMPANY OR ANY OF ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, AGENTS OR REPRESENTATIVES, EVEN IF THE COMPANY OR ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, AGENTS OR REPRESENTATIVES HAVE BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH CLAIMS, WHETHER IN AN ACTION IN CONTRACT, TORT OR NEGLIGENCE, OR BASED ON A WARRANTY ARISING OUT OF THE EXISTENCE, FURNISHING OR FUNCTIONING OF THE ADMINISTRATION PLATFORM.

And yes, that is one sentence.

"You're actually dripping oil on the floor right now."

So APPARENTLY, not everyone likes the smell of orange oil all over their Customer Service Representative. This was pointed out to me at work. While I was in the process of ripping apart an orange with my bare hands. As one does.

So I was instructed to peel my orange the "normal" way, with a napkin and a spoon, so I did not actually touch the objectionable orange oils.

Dude, I nearly gouged my eye out. Twice. Peeling an orange with a spoon is NOT EASY. I just thought you should know that. ^_^

Honey, I said, my life is a ghost story. Then tell it to me, she said.

I'm reading The Book Of Negroes, by Lawrence Hill, for book club. It's a book about slavery, from the viewpoint of a slave. Which, as you may have have guessed, does not make it a happy book. The MC was just raped, and that hasn't been the most terrible thing to happen so far. Oh, and I'm about one third into the book.

Which leads me to wonder- why do people read books like this? I mean, I'm reading it for a book club, but it was recommended by someone who'd read it for pleasure. Why do you choose for your enjoyment to read a book about the horrors that men can inflict on each other? I just don't get it!

I mean granted, before I read this I was starting to get annoyed at the people who are constantly apologizing for the sins of their fathers. And while I still think it is not really a good idea to constantly be blaming, apologizing and taking the credit for old sins, I can now see why people feel a visceral need to apologize. This is a large sin. It- shouldn't be glossed over.

BUT MOVING ON- I mean I got that within the first hundred pages. WHY would you keep reading about horrors? Is your life that boring, that you must replace the mundanity with old crimes made new?

SIGH. Okay. I'll go read more. And then I'll have to read one of my nice "fluffy" book before bed, so I don't spend the night on an imaginary slave ship.

"It's kinda a big deal."

And with seven hours (max) of sleep, we headed for Sin Jawns! The youngsters were all going to Camp Delight for eight days, and us adults were going along to drive, and- well, um, *waves hands vaguely* see people. You know, as adults do.

All the camp people crammed into the van of excitement and hysteria, and Daddy, Slonner and I were exiled to the car. *Looks at Van crammed full of excited children* *looks at VW full of space and a working radio* *compares*

Clearly, we had the short end of the stick. It was tragic, I tell you.

Daddy and I spent the 4.5 hour drive in listening to the radio, and talking art and marketing. As one does. Then we dropped off the children at Camp, where they took the absolute minimum amount of time getting settled in. THROW the luggage from the van. LUG AT HIGH SPEED to the cabins. HUG parents. Bye now! Trapezoid especially was very efficient. I was still helping small girls carry suitcases bigger than themselves when he had finished carrying three suitcases and a bag taller than him to his cabin. Then he vanished to do arcane boy things with his cabin. I didn't ask questions.

Now, as previously mentioned in the last post, I'd bought some earrings the day before. That meant that when we actually got to town, I didn't have my usual monies to spend on books or theatres. My normal Modus Operandi would have to be ADJUSTED. Therefore, while my industrious father went to take the ferry over to an old iron mine to take pictures of an indie turkish rock band, bringing my lovely mother and energetic small brother, I stayed in the hotel and chased a sunspot along the couch.

After this long and involved exercise, and after- incidentally- my family in town were barred from their ferry and had to wait for the next one, we had chinese food and entertained a newly married couple who were slightly younger than I. The entertainment mainly consisted of talk of schools and the music industry, and coffee and timbits. Which obviously is the best of all possible conversations. :D

After we'd exsausted the coffee, I was brought out in state to help grocery pick, and be driven about town at night, and see the new apartment. The new apartment was, of course, lovely. We watched the Taking Of Pelham 123, which was significantly less lovely. Profanity can be used effectively in a story, but I really don't think professional people use one word as the noun, verb, adjective and other modifiers in one sentence. And it's all the same word? I mean, if I've met people who REALLY swear, they at least have two or three words they alternate between. This was just awkward and tiring. The only person who really pulled it off was John Travolta, who was quite believably insane. ^_^ But yeah, the story was so muddled it might have been good- but I really have no idea, I cared about a random sniper more than the MC, and the triumphant ending was- really not. SIGH. If you're going to present a conflict, people, have the goodness to resolve it! If you're dealing with layers of lies, either wink and nod when you leave, or TELL THE TRUTH, don't just wander aimlessly into the sunset. *glares at storywriters* John Travolta was the best part.

In the morning I woke up. Which I put as a point of interest, seeing as I was up until 2:30+ the night before, and then up at 8, and I don't function well on less than nine hours. YOU DO THE MATH. So then we, hmmm. *thinks* We went to costco, and McDonalds, where someone named James- I love you James, learn to be observant- neglected to get my salad dressings or tell me that he had to tell someone else about out for 15 minutes. Which when you're standing by the counter of a fast food restaurant, is a LONG TIME. And then we went to Long and McQuade, where I stayed in the car and read, and then went home.  The trip back was spent looking at the views, talking Churchill, computers, income and jobs. As one also does. 

First, a picture.

Second, I have been instruted to blog- hopefully in great detail- by Third World and Moon Unit. To which I answered, "Hahahahah, as if I have a blog, hahahh- oh wait."

So here I go. Let's have some history! Which is to say, the modern history of ME- clearly the only reasonable history to look at. *preens*

I went to GF-W on Saturday! It was Exciting! I was served a donair in a pizza shop where Frauline and I were truly, deeply, strongly in the minority because we did not have visible tattoos. This experience affirmed my theorty that- no matter what Hollywood tells you- neck ink does not automatically serve to make you look badass/tough/intimidating. Weighing double a person's body weight and having an extra 12 inches on them does that. ^_^

But I am ahead of myself. SHAME on me! You see, we were in GF because Frauline was attending a watercolour workshop. I came along for reasons that will be revealed later, and also because I am a fan of road trips. She was going to be playing with brushes and hair dryers for two and a half hours, and so I thought I'd do some reading, maybe walk about, get some coffee; you know, as one does. The only problem with that is that I am very lazy and out of the walking habit. I consider my commute to work to be a walk, and I can do that in four minutes, in heels. If I was to go get coffee, I would have to cross a HIGHWAY. *stricken with exhaustion at the very idea*

So yeah, I read for two and a half hours. ^_^ It was a hard decision, but some things just have to be done. HAHAAHAHAHAH, yes, I enjoyed the reading and didn't want to stop. But then Frauline finished her art, and we looked at what we were going to do next. Because the OTHER reason we were in GF-W was to go to the theater, and watch Inception. But now it was 4:30, and the show started at 8:30.

I could tell you that I read for four hours, but that would be clearly preposterous, and untrue. I only read for three more hours, tops. But when you walk into the mall and see the blast cages rattling down, and then  go to Wal-mart and peruse it twenty minutes, your options are limited. So we went to the park and read. :D (I also got some earrings with feathers. They cause me delight and a bit of a dragon-ish hoarding instinct.)

But finally, we found the theatre- which must be sketchily accessed through a vacant lot at the back of a building built before my parents were born- and then we watched the movie! *jazz hands*

Several people have asked me what I thought of it. So, I'm gonna try to articulate my thoughts. :P There is no denying that Inception is a very effective story. It sucked me in for the entire two and a half hours, and I cared about how it ended. However, once it ended, I'm not sure that I want to watch it again. It wasn't really visually stunning, the characters didn't make me love them, there was startlingly little snappy dialogue to pour over, and I'm not terribly sure what it was saying.

Plus, that ending makes me angry. :P I WANT CLOSURE. It was good, and if suggested, I think I'd be happy to see it again- I just didn't really go away saying "Man, I Loved that!" I walked out going "I'm not quite sure what just happened, and I'm not sure if I like it."

And then we drove home. ^_^

There you have it. :D The first part of my DRAMATIC WEEKEND.