This is the test of true character; if you can not loose it while they unload the plane.

I'm back on the Rock!

The whole trip went amazingly smoothly. (and now we discover what I call a "smooth" flight.)

I am definitely flying West Jet if I possibly can in the future. RM drove me out to the airport, and I checked in, and then found that my carry on was too heavy. They're topped off at 22lbs, and mine was 17 overweight. Heh heh heh. So I repacked in the airport lobby, borrowing a nice lot of tape, and then promenaded off to my gate with a very light bag. Security went smooth as silk, and the flight its self was unremarkable. Though the couple in the seat next to me DID hold hands for the entire trip, which was kind of interesting.

Anyhow, I landed in Halifax, waited a while got on the plane, waited while they loaded more bags, (this delayed us 30 minutes), and landed in St. John's! The flight was one that had come form Edmonton, and it was mainly full of people who had been in their seats since 6am in Edmonton. When we landed in Newfoundland at 11:10 local time, all the seat belts opened in about 2 seconds. SnapsnapsnapsnapsnapsnapSTANDUP. That was where my title came from- an overheard comment from the back of the plane.

PT and Daddy were there to meet me, which was very jolly. PT had to go straight back to his house, but it was excellent to see him again. He's such a man. :P Then Daddy and I went to the hotel he and Mommy rent while in St. John's, and I passed out. There was a breif interlude where I tried to keep from tossing around and disturbing Daddy, but then I gave that up as hopeless and conked out.

5 hours later we were up and headed to the Janeway to see Gid and Mommy. Mommy had spent the night with Gid, by the by. It was very good to see them both, and then I got on the bus to Home! My parents are awesome, pretty much. *glee*

So, I pretty much went into a coma for the bus ride, and then on arriving I took a taxi home. It was funny, since the Taxi driver knew me by sight from when I worked at Tim Hortons 2 years ago, and he knew where I wanted to go without being asked. I'm back in my ain Countrie!

And... the library is closing. (the internet is down at home) Write more later, I shall.

"Reality, dude. Get some."

Another Alumnus, a certain Matt, came by for Breakfast today. Alison, who's from the same year that he attended, came as well, and much hilarity ensued. I decided that I needed to work on improving my memory, and so I took note of the following quotes in honour of Moon Unit and Third World. *weeps*

Alison: (talking about Emily's egg puffs) They're cool cause they're just the kind of thing you can bring in the car in the morning. Kinda hot and greasy though.
Matt: (in a high pitched voice) Like me!
Alison: Were you talking for me or you there?
Matt: Draw your own conclusions

Alison: Have you seen "Sweet Home Alabama?"
Matt: Do I look like a girl? No-
Me: You're wearing pink.

Emily: (Talking about a boy's really flowery prose style) It's like his writing's in drag!

Emily: Man, that Chaucer looks bubonic!

Matt: You're making it your objective to destroy every ounce of propriety I have, aren't you.
Emily: No, we know you don't actually have any. We're just tearing down the artifice.

Matt: (after Alison made a face at him) Excellent rebuttal.

Then after they left I went for a walk in the rain. Just in case that sounds really morbid, I hasten to say that I like rain, honestly! I think I'm getting my walking skills back, because I was able to go quite a distance. I headed up to Parliament, as per my brother PT's advice, but unfortunately you had to pay for a tour, and I was really not in the mood to wander around alone. So I took the long way home, stopping in at Zellers to buy a wicked hat. It was half price, and actually fits me! (it's a black pinstriped fedora, and now I will say no more about it. )

As I think I mentioned before, it's raining. I have also heard that it is supposed to snow tomorrow. At this point, I actually find that hilarious. However, I really think that, given my druthers, I would prefer to be stuck in actually in transit, not just stalled before even getting on the plane, as happened over Christmas. Hopefully I at least get off the ground tomorrow.

I was running through the pictures on my camera before I went out, deleting the bad ones, and I found a bunch of shots I had taken on Saturday. I made a total nuisance of myself that morning in my constant firing away of pictures, but I got some good shots. Really, it's just cause they are of my lovely former house mates that I love them. I had somehow forgotten that those pics were in the memory card, and I came a hair's breadth away from bawling over my camera.

I've only actually cried the once since people started leaving- I don't cry easily- but there is a pain in my chest, and I find it hard to breath when thinking of several of my classmates. Lamd, Swinger (also know as the Pun master :), Moon Unit, and Third World, I miss you. Enjoy yourself, you hear? And maybe I'll get shunted out your way while traveling. You never know! I'm packing my passport, just in case. :D

We're graduates now, does this mean we have to be mature?

The graduation! Third World's parents came over and drove her, Moon Unit, and Myself over to the church at 3. Unfortunately, no one had sent out any kind of information email, so none of the students really knew quite what was going on. We were directed to put on our awesome robes, so we did, and then we went outside, and progressed up the aisle of the church, all in typical Augustine "act like you know what you're doing and maybe no one will notice that your shoes don't match" style. Then, as is traditional for graduation ceremonies, I hear, there were speeches, by Dr. Tingley and Texas in our case, and the presentation of certificates. It was my first graduation ceremony I've been in or attended, so I don't have much to compare it to, but I think it was good. Moon Unit said we looked like a murder of crows, which was jolly.

Then we had an excellent dinner, and chatted away. None of my family was able to make it, so I sat with Third World's family, which was also jolly. Come to think of it, my family would have taken up two tables all to ourselves, and there was NO room for more tables in that hall. Everything works out for some good! So, we chatted for, well, three hours. There were people, (mainly professors,) making the rounds of the hall and talking to each of the tables. The professors especially were saying really nice things about all the students.

All through the evening, there were good-byes going on. It tended to give the evening a rather surreal quality, at least for me. I tend to not really process the fact that I won't see certain people again. Instead, I just enter an artificial state where I smile a lot, and am emotionally neutral. This was helped by the fact that a lot of people looked different, all dressed up. Moon Unit had her hair up, and Third World had her hair down and straight. I kept not recognizing them in my peripheral vision, and then belatedly realizing that it was my friends who were sitting and standing there.

Anyhow, after the meal was over, we went out and sang Karaoke. This had been decided upon by the elders of the class, and they were able to say, "everyone is coming, and it's the last night!" Everyone came, and everyone, pretty much, sang. Though, some people, (us), had faulty directions and were looking on the wrong side of the street for a while. But we all go there in the end! Moon Unit sang Janis Joplin, and Third World sang Nickleback, and I, fool that I am, sang Train. Yes, I sang. *cringes at the memory* I have been told that I was on beat and on pitch, though, which retains for me the last vestiges of my dignity. And before you ask, I had drunk only root beer. :D

It was just the last night, and only my classmates were paying attention... I have decided that I am not a fan of bars. It was noisy, and there were people drinking alcohol, (fancy that), and people I didn't know getting awfully cuddly. *shudders* My personal dislike of bars aside, it was a fun event. And, it was so noisy and impersonal that we couldn't get too maudlin about parting, which was a plus.

Third World's parents, who are lovely, were still driving us around, and they dropped Moon Unit and I off at the College, before returning with Third World to the hotel. They were flying back to Oregon at 8 the next morning, and so had to leave for the airport at 5 in the morning. So Moon Unit and I said good bye to Third World in the front yard, at 11:30 at night. I'm missing her a lot. Anyhow, I waved her out of sight down the street, as is my tradition for farewells; you wave until what you are bidding farewell is utterly out of sight. Moon Unit, who was Third World's room mate (I have to use the past tense now, bah), didn't want to sleep in the empty room, so she used Rach's bed, as Rach had left earlier in the day.

Then Moon Unit packed up all her things the next morning, and she left in the afternoon. I waved her out of sight too. RM will be here till Wednesday, which is nice. Em is leaving today.

I've kept myself busy on the computer all day, but know I'm missing people already. Mainly because I know that we most likely won't see each other again at the same time this side of heaven, and I have no idea when I'll be able to see even a few of my lovely classmates. The missing will get worse, and then it will get better, I know this. We have the internet, and mail, and phone! yeah!

þæs ofereode, þisses swa mæg. as that passed over, so will this

Also, I get to see my family the day after tomorrow, which is tremendously exciting! *cheers*

If I don't eat, how soon can I have the money to travel across the country?

So today was the graduation, which I will talk about later. Now, however, Third World just left, and I am not in a good mood.

I am not crying, which is stupid of me, I just feel numb.

I said goodbye to a bunch of people today, and just cause I'm heartless, I don't feel that bad about leaving then. I mean, I'm gonna miss them, but I've moved too many times to feel sad about leaving acquaintances behind, or even minor friends. But there were certain people this year which I will miss a lot. Third World is RIGHT up there at the top of the list.

I had some advice given me at the beginning of the year, on making new acquaintances. As far as I can figure our, this was to stop me getting too close to any one or two or three people. I didn't take the advice, I didn't go out much, and now I have two really close friends. And yeah, Third World is the closest friend of my college mates.

But I don't regret not going out. I wouldn't have gotten as close to my college people if I had been all over the city all the time. And that would make this time easier, but without the awesome fact that I actually have real friends for the first time since I was 6. Despite the fact that one of those friends is going to be on the West coast and the other is going to be in Upper Canada.

Why do all the cool people have to live so fiendishly far away?

I am going to go take a hot shower, and go to bed, and see if I can cry there.

Crime and Punishment! It's such a ~cuddly~ book!

I got my boxes mailed off today! And I had enough money! *collapses from relief* That was a really nervous point, but I got all THREE boxes off without incident. I am $104.50 poorer and a lot of stress lighter. :P

The graduation is tomorrow, and people's families have been arriving all day. It's starting to be quite exciting, what with reunions, and gowns arriving in the mail, and food preparation, and so on and so forth.

Third World's parents arrived here yesterday, and they are really nice. *smiles at Third World's parents* They kept including me, even to the point of inviting me and Moon Unit to breakfast at their hotel with Third World. Unfortunately Moon Unit was still at her sister's house where she had been spending the night, but I got to go along. And then they drove me down to the Post Office! Really nice people.

It's funny, how when I meet the parents of Moon Unit and Third World, they really remind me of my own parents. Just in how they are totally awesome, and happy, and have great relationships with each other. I'm seeing my own family on Tuesday! w00t!

I am now going to get off the computer, as I have spent the last two hours on here reading the news. Yeah! Hurrah for the time to read the news!

I passed! (the epic blog entry)

WHEAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [commence incoherent screaming of joy here]

In case you might have noticed, I was ever so slightly concerned about the possibility of my passing this year. Just slightly. Then we had the oral exam today, and learned the stats of who in the class passed. The verdict? Everyone made it. *punches the air*

Even the Scriptures exam, which as you also might have noticed I was rather concerned about, I passed. I got an 89. This is just wrong. I don't understand that mark, at all. It was not a good exam. *shakes head vehemently* Not a good exam. But I am not going to try to argue a lower mark, rest assured! I just don't understand. *is bewildered*

Moving on! Yes, the oral exam was today, and it was rather anti-climatic. I did not cover myself with glory, but neither did I go down in flames. This lack of combustion was chiefly because it was not really possible to ignite ones self, but the point remains! The dinner, on the other hand, was lovely. Em had made the famous braided sandwich rolls, and there were also veggies of joy, and cookies. Twas jolly.

Then the year books arrived, and we signed each other's and chatted for something like a two hours. It was fun, and my first experience with signing yearbooks. All these experienced signers, and then Snazel biting her pen and trying to think of things to say that are amusing and representative. Not so much. I realized a bit more, when trying to think of things to say, how much I'm gonna miss everybody. I've really got used to all these people. *sigh* Grad in on Saturday afternoon, and then we're scattering to all corners of the continent. West Coast, East Coast, Central, Prairies, South, Midwest; pretty much everywhere except The North or Southern California. *sigh*

But my little yearbook is jolly. *pats it*

We've also had our last class events, both official and unofficial, in the last week. The official one was when the class went out to Hal's house for Community meal on Tuesday. Hal is the Office administrator for the College, and he's been bringing his family by for community meal all year, which was very nice. It was oodles of fun, though I was tired early, as I had gotten up early to clean. We had done intensive deep cleaning of the house, which involved Moon Unit down on her hands and knees scrubbing the entry way for an HOUR, and general hilarity. We played a mix CD from one of Third World's friends, very loudly. It was especially amusing when Swinger came in during Play that funky music.

Swinger : "I'd like to point out that there are no white boys in the house except for Peety and me, and we aren't singing."
Em: "We started it especially when we saw you coming up the walkway. *very bored* Dance, White boy, dance."

Anyhow, what with the music and general hilarity, it was a fun cleaning morning. Then we headed out to Hal's house in the evening. His kids were there, *happy* and we all hung out in the living room and the backyard. We had ribs, and salad, and pop, and marvelous mashed potatoes. It was delicious! Then those who were sports-inclined played soccer, and those we weren't sat around and chatted. THEN, as evening fell, we had coffee, and unidentified berry-cake-pudding-trifle dessert, and CHOCOLATE CAKE OF GLORY. I called it that by accident after catching a glimpse of it in the kitchen, and the name was appropriate. It was four levels of marvelous dark chocolate cake, and iced with a ganache-ish icing. By then Moon Unit was a little loopy from exhaustion, and so was leaning on Swinger's shoulder, and Third World and I were alternating leaning on each other and sitting on the ground , but we were leaving in someone else's care, so we made unintelligent conversation for another two hours. Then we went home and slept like logs. *nods*

Oh, I forgot to mention that Professor Tucker, (lit.) was there, as was Professor Tingley, (Philosophy, Art, and Trivium,) and their respective families. SO there were lots of little ones running around, which was fun, but in retrospect I didn't have any in my lap, which is why it didn't feel terribly homey. Not that it was bad- quite the opposite! But the fact that there were children running about didn't seem as homelike as it might have been. Interesting. And Hal and co. live in a very nice version of suburbia. I am beginning to think that that I may have judged suburbia too hastily. Not all cities are like Southern California! There were trees, and the houses looked different, and the inhabitants seemed to know their neighbors. In fact, the atmosphere was closer to the PMQs, which were a terribly fun place when you were under the age of 10. Kids everywhere, and a back yard that went on for miles. Anyhow, looked like a nice place, and the construction of the houses where definitely nicer than the PMQs!

Then on Wedsday we watched Lord Of The Rings. All day. With only minor breaks of less than 10 minutes. Yes, we are awesome. Sue has the extended version, so we watched the entire trilogy back to back. As this post is already too long I will not bore you with unnessesry details, except to say that it was very cool, and I was there the WHOLE time, and I was the only one who did that. The others skipped out for a couple of pieces of time, but I was there!!!!!

And, Moon Unit, Third World, and I cleaned out the fridges this afternoon. It was epic and furry.

Wow, I found 15 movies that I've seen and like!

This is courtesy of Third World and Moon Unit.

1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.

• NO USING GOOGLE OR IMDB SEARCH FUNCTIONS! Be honest, it’s more fun.
• Put your guesses in the form of a comment, please.
  
• I'm putting the answers under white text. Highlight it to see if you were right.
  
• Try not to read the comments that came before you, because it’s more fun that way too.
  
• (Hint: use Textedit or Notepad to write your comment, then paste it into the comment box. )

You probably won't find these very difficult, but I had a ball putting them together, and I'm pleased that I actually found 15 movies/things that have been released on DVD, that I liked.
Enjoy!

[01] Okay, first of all, it's "cretin". If you're going to threaten me, do it properly.

[02] Not to worry. We're still flying half a ship.

[03] If there's any fighting, drop to the floor or run away. It's okay to leave them to die.

[04] Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet.

[05] I can avoid being seen if I wish, but to disappear entirely, that is a rare gift.

[06] You have no compassion for my poor nerves.

[07] You seem to have upset the delicate internal balance of my housekeeper.

[08] I have Slushy in my ear...

[09] Oh, my baby! Are you all right? Are you emotionally tramautized?

[10] Look, it's not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why.

[11] Honey... you're wearing a bathrobe.

[12] I sacrificed some small insignificant things, such as my pride, and my self-respect.

[13] You might equally suggest that the earth moves around the sun with as little proof!

[14] I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means "no".

[15] That's one of those irregular verbs, isn't it? I give confidential security briefings. You leak. He has been charged under section 2a of the Official Secrets Act.

Answers:

[01] Mike, in Monsters Inc.

[02] Obi-wan, in Star Wars III - Revenge of the Sith

[03] Simon, in Serenity

[04] Agent Smith, in the Matrix

[05] Strider, in The Fellowship of the Ring

[06] Mrs. Bennet, in Pride and Prejudice

[07] Professor Kirke, in The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.

[08] Jimmy Gourd, in Josh and the Big Wall.

[09] Yubaba, in Spirited Away

[10] Rusty, in Ocean's 12

[11] Captain Shakespeare, in Stardust

[12] Duchess of Wharfedale, in Horatio Hornblower: the Devil and the Duchess

[13] Hugh Beringer, in Brother Cadfael: The Virgin in the Ice

[14] Barbossa, in Pirates of the Caribbean; Dead Man's Chest

[15] Bernard Woolley, in Yes Minister

"What you should be worrying about... is your Eyebrows!"

I'll just say, the weather here is marvelous. I went through a couple of days of feeling not at all comfortable without a chill in the air, or a coat on, but now I've remembered what warm weather is like. Such a strange thing. *shakes head*

I'll be flying home on next Tuesday- West Jet. Yes, I took an extra two days in Ottawa, including a day when I am the only student left in the College, in an effort to avoid flying Air Canada. Here is the plan of my time in the intervening space.

• to do:
• Monday
• Move Computer files to Portable hard Drive
• Write thank you letter for College
• pack shipping boxes
  
• Tuesday
• Deep-clean house
• Wednesday
  
• Lord of the Rings Marathon!
  
• Thursday
• oral exam
• Friday
• Mailing boxes and Sally Ann
• Saturday
• Grad
• Sunday
• church
  
• Monday
• donate blood
  
• Tuesday
• Fly home

Looks doable, no? *nods* I can do this! Oh, and sometime in there, I need to do some birthday present acquisition for the four brothers who are having birthdays in my absence. Right. "You know I'm a poor student who has no conception of money?...."

[note: navel-gazing type musings follow. read at your own risk.]
And on a completely different tack, Third World, Moon Unit and I were discussing public school and its probable effect on us. We pretty much agreed that Moon Unit and Third World would have been the same people had they gone through Public School, but that I wouldn't be the same. Quote: "You'd either be a total follower, or completely outcast." I agree, really. I could see myself going in about 8 different directions, none of them positive. In thinking about this, I had two reactions, one positive and one, not.

On the one hand, I'm really glad that my parents kept me out of Public School for that reason. While it would have been interesting to see how I turned out, it would be interesting in about the same way that it is interesting to see what colours of mold grow on the unidentifiable things in the back of the fridge. Sick fascination.

On the other hand, the not-so-positive one, it doesn't make me very confident for the future. Oh joy, I have so little of my own personality that I can't be trusted to go out in public. My powers of self-delusion seem to be exceptional. What if I was to go to a College or University outside of the house? Would I lose myself then too? Do I even have my own personality, or am I such a social chameleon that I just take on the interests of the people I'm surrounded by? (protective coloring, right.) Will I EVER be able to stand on my own?

I don't see it being much of an issue once I return home, cause, in all honesty, I really don't see the potential for friends outside of my family. The high schoolers in my small town are all scared of me anyways, and they're all obsessed with topics I mercifully am not interested in; namely, high school marks and the high school drama of the moment. People over High school age are either gone off to university, and therefore in a higher social bracket than I, or moving in crowds where I have no experience and don't want any. The hard-drinking Fort Mac crowd? No, thank you. I don't even know most of the words, much less how to communicate. :P That leaves people over the age of 30, who are nice to me, but not really friends, and my family. Moreover, my brother PT has now moved out on his own, which cuts my social scene significantly. Seriously significantly. If you include my parents, it cuts it by a quarter.

Okay, maybe I'm being overly pessimistic. Who knows, maybe there'll be some interesting, intelligent, safe, and not-scared-of-me people near my age in town when I get back. Or maybe I'm drawing the lines too thick, and I can be friends with people who I already am acquainted with. Or maybe I'll just have friends online for the foreseeable future.

My, but I'm not looking forward to leaving Third World and Moon Unit. I do think I am myself with them, whoever that is. {Totally insane, and likes books!} Moon Unit has been going home on weekends so I'm partially used to her not being here, but Third World and I have been basically in each other's constant company since January. *cries* I hung out with RM a lot last term, but she started moving on to other friends in November, and even earlier we didn't do much together: Baking and talking, and occasional Latin. Third World and I wrote novels together, for heaven's sake. I haven't had such a close friend who I wasn't related to since I was 6. Bah, why does Oregon have to be 5.5 time zones and another country away anyways? For goodness sake, the nearest people I would be able to visit, (those who make it to St. X's in Cape Breton) would be at least 500 dollars to even get to the mainland, and then you have accommodation and food costs. Bah humbug.

Yeah, so, the weather here is nice, I'm having a low grade identity crisis, am I even a person? I'm not looking forward to splitting up from my friends, and aside from those minor stresses, and the family members who are hospitalized, I'm doing fine.

I just have to remember, I can't see the future. I can always make what's coming seem bleaker than it actually is. Even when it's worse than I foresaw, it's always easier to bear than I think it will be.

Right, I can't see the future.

Just breathe.

Please support your answers...

I'm done with all the exams. That is such a remarkably strange thought. I am totally not processing it yet. :P

However, it is not true! I till have the big oral exam on next Thursday, but aside from that I'm done. No more papers, no more exams, (almost), no more classes. I don't know what to do with myself! Oh, I think I'll figure something out soon enough, but for know I'm a little at loose ends. I made a list of things I need to do before I go home, so I feel marginally more secure, having that to procrastinate about.

The oral exam was today for Science, and I had the 8:30 slot. I had been making flippant comments about oral exams, saying that I didn't have a problem with them. This was taken note of by the auditors of the universe, and duly fixed. I now have ascertained that I usually have no issue with answering questions after presentations, because I am so relived that the presentation is over. However, oral exams are rather different. I had never taken one before today, you see. I say a remarkable number of things without actual facts to point to as backup. I still think I'm right, and my facts are right, but I don't carry names in my head well. *sheepish* Perhaps it's best that I was first, so there was NO bar to measure up to. One of the later students accidentally saw the grade sheet, and he said that there was no grade lower than B+, for which I am very happy.

"At this time of year, what with marking papers and exams, I was thinking, as one so often does, on grace..."

One left. Only one exam left.

I should be happy about this, but I still feel physically ill from the Scriptures exam. My hands are numb. I have never felt so bad after an exam in my life. I've been saying, about my exams, "well, nothing has made me cry yet," but if I was ever to cry over an exam it would be about that one. I bombed so badly. I can't talk well about theology ever, and that paper was no exception.

ANYWAYS! I got through music without too much issue. There were questions I was iffy on, but I knew the majority. Even listening I got through without major panic. All thanks must go to Third World and Moon Unit though, for that, who just kept going over the music clips over and over again, and making/letting me memorize them. I still wasn't good, but I was able to put a name on half the pieces, I think, and an era on everything.

Have you ever noticed what adrenaline does to the body? It's quite interesting. I wasn't emotionally scared yesterday, but the adrenaline was definitely going. I was sitting and reading a fun book to try and relax before the exam and looked at the clock. It was ten minute to class, and totally without warning my breathing sped up, my heart rate went up, and I went analytical and noted this all. Then in the exam, I felt perfectly normal, but happened to touch my chest, and my heart was going like a trip hammer. I could feel my heartbeat when I touched my collarbone! And; (random side story) Rach scared me while I was reading earlier in the week and my eyesight sharpened. It was very odd.

Then this morning was literature, which was painful. We hadn't had a test from this professor yet, so no one know what to expect, and we weren't disappointed. I really don't know how I did though. I answered all three questions, but I really don't know what he was looking for. I don't have very much experience with exams at all, and I'm not sure I know how to write them. EDIT: I do know, however, that I got halfway through my big essay and realized that I had just disproved my thesis, so I had to frantically rewrite. Fun times :P

I also don't have much experience in attending classes I don't like, which is perhaps why I failed so badly on the scriptures exam. I can usually find something to get at least mildly interested in in any class, but this one- no. I mean, I though I didn't like math in high school. In retrospect, I loved math. I thought I didn't like writing. I adored it. I thought I didn't like my papers this term. They were enjoyable. I thought I didn't like the art exam. It was fun. Now I know what not liking an activity is, and that is the Scripture exam I just hacked my way through.

OH, and to forestall those people who will tell me, "you didn't do that bad..." I was to write three essays, which are traditionally two pages each. I wrote one which was two pages, and it achieved that by being mainly comprised of quotes. The other two essays were less than a page each, and a total "scraping the bottom of the barrel" in terms of content. No, scratch that, this is where you beat the barrel apart to try to get at the tiny fragments of content that are stuck in the crevices between the rotten slabs of fumbling that make up the barrel.

That was so REMARKABLY bad. We're talking a new section in the annals of abysmal exams. Above-the-fold, front page, in the Fumbling Times. Full alert with picture sent out to all those anywhere who attempt to stop idiocy. Full quarantine necessary to stop the incomprehension from infecting unsuspecting bystanders and dragging them down to a lingering painful death.

*sigh* I am going to go out and buy an extra large coffee, and try to study for the 8:30am oral exam I have tomorrow.

Wow.

In 16 hours I am going to be all done with exams. *smiles*

I passed the paint of panic long ago. Now I'm just waiting for the blade to drop...

The title? Overheard in conversation today after exams. It's that kind of day. :P

I, however, am quite happy at this moment. I am very full from all the lovely chili that Em made for community meal, and I am done with three of my exams.
ha! take that, world...

Art was this morning, and I wrote 12 pages, total, of which 10 were double spaced. There was a tense moment in the exam when I, vividly and without preamble, remembered all the comments I got on my last exam... But I put them out of my mind, pulled up more sarcasm, and continued writing. That exam definitely got snarky at times. Third World, Moon Unit and I were rehashing it afterwards, comparing answers, and we've decided we want to read each others exams when we get them back. If you give us three any room at all for smart comments, we'll take it. *grins*

Then we had an intense, college-wide music-study session for four hours, which made sure that any brain cells I had left decided to shut down. I really don't know how the medical students do it. *shakes head in wonder*

Tomorrow is music, both listening and written, and scriptures/lit prep. Good times!

Four exams to go.

Reposted from my family's blog

My dad wrote the following. Stevie is my mom. That's pretty much all you need to know.

13-April.......It's been one year......

Gideon is sleeping while I write this. He has a bit of a rattle in his lungs, almost a snore. He is getting a good long sleep. It is snowing outside the Hospital window. A Spring snowfall with big flakes that float down without a wind. One year ago Gideon got down off my lap as we went to breakfast. He had been sitting on my knee while I checked my email. As my hand passed over his tummy I felt something very hard just poking out from under his ribcage. Gideon had been having trouble getting over a late Winter flu and so his breathing was a bit "rattley". Stevie had already booked an appointment with our Family Dr. but we decided to go early and wait for the next available opening. The Dr. ordered an X-Ray. Stevie returned to the Dr late in the afternoon to hear the results of the Chest and Abdominal X-Ray. I was working in the studio mixing the song "I Feel So Happy".

Our world changed in one moment.

We have learned the reality of "the new normal". "Normal" changes daily, sometimes hourly, sometimes in a moment (relapse). We are learning to live "in the moment" and trying not to worry about what might happen.

We are learning that God is sovereign, He is Creator, we are created, he is Infinite, we are finite. I do not pretend to know the mind of God. I do understand this. His covenant with His people continues to be kept. He does not change, neither does He falter. In His mercy He saves and protects His own. He has no equal, and He has no opposite, His purpose cannot be thwarted. I am His child.

We have been treated to new friendships. People of compassion, and mercy. People whose careers demand high academic achievement with almost unlimited patience and compassion under, what is sometimes, a crushing emotional burden. I truly wonder how they do it. Friends from "before" have shown why they are friends. We are privileged to count these truly unique and special people as friends. Thank you all.

We do not know what the future holds, but we know who holds the future.

Thank you for sharing this year with us. "A burden shared is a burden halved. A joy shared is a joy doubled"

Quid vides. Nihil videmus.

Oh! I can translate that sentence! I think...

Two exams down, five to go.

Latin was this morning, and I actually feel fairly secure about it. I didn't ace it, for sure, but I was able to answer all the questions. I'm pretty sure I didn't fail :P

Philosophy was then in the afternoon, and was good. I don't think I aced that one either, but I was able to answer most of the questions, in a reasonably coherent manner, and I wrote a 9 page essay in an hour and a half. *big grin* That was actually rather amusing. Last time most everyone left the exam after an hour and 45 minutes, and I was in there writing alone for the last hour. This time, we were all in there up to the last five minutes, and people were coming out of the exam saying things like "I had more to say, but my hand gave out." The essay was on A big idea you might talk to people about. A nice lot of room for writing there, eh? :D I think I wrote about a page and a half in the last 5 minutes, wherein I touched on utilitarianism, Hume, Post-modernism, and a two sentence conclusion. I also wrote the last four pages under the motivation of the tea that professor Tingley made for us. It was really nice; he noticed that a lot of the students had not eaten lunch, and made us a pot of tea. By the time I took a cup it had been steeping for almost two hours, so that it was very dark brown and had a smoky flavour. I added a spoonful of sugar, and was rejuvenated!

And then I came out of class, shaking slightly from focusing for that long, and found that Air Canada finally had sent me some money for losing my baggage. So I can ship my books and blankets back home, and still have some money left over to do fun stuff during marking week.

We're going to the symphony tonight, should be fun.

Must let Rach's Other Half have the computer to research his art pieces. *bows*

Wherein Snazel ponders the future

Exam week
Also being a lamentable tale of woe, hysterical laughter, late-night nervous breakdowns and far too much chocolate.

Day the First.
Wherein a Latin exam occurs early in the morning, accompanied by several raving panics, moreover the philosophy exam is undertaken with much weeping and gnashing of teeth, and a select few Augustinians attend the symphony.

Day the Second
Wherein a Art exam invades the morning, being comprised of no less than nine essays of varying lengths, and the panic level increases, abated somewhat by a community meal of much emotion.

Day the Third
Wherein two music exams take place, a written and a listening, and several students disappear into the abyss of insanity.

Day the Fourth
Wherein a literature exam takes place, being a hallucinatory conversation between fictional characters, and a Scriptures exam is followed by mandatory attendance at Chapel.

Day the Fifth
Wherein the entire day is occupied by individual interrogation sessions on science, and half the college runs for the border.

Wherein Snazel ponders the past.

Classes are over. That is such a strange thought. o.O In a week's time I'll be done with my exams. Even stranger... The time is just zipping by.

Here is the last week in miniature. :)

On Monday we had Latin (fun), and Philosophy (PoMo). It seems strange to think of going back to life without those classes in it. Philosophy is going to leave a big hole, actually. I didn't understand it much, but it was great when I did! :P

On Tuesday we had our last art class, which was interesting. We touched on the surrealists and cubists. Then we handed in our papers to Dr. Patrick, and had a lovely community meal: lasagna, garlic bread, salad, and cake with berries and whipped cream. I will certainly miss Tuesdays. *sniffs*

On Wednesday, we had our last music class and last Latin class. I botched the Latin quiz. *weeps* I think I'll miss Latin. Not the quizzes so much, but the translation is rather fun, in a painful way, and Professor Blaedow is amazing. Music class was enjoyable, but I doubt that I'll miss it. *sheepish*

On Thursday we had Literature. We did our presentation on items we found on the street, which was jolly. I was so petrified when I read my presentation! I'm pretty sure I was reading in a monotone, in addition to the actual shaking. However, it went reasonably well, and professor Tucker said that I reminded him of the lead character in Becoming Jane. I have never seen that movie, so I'm unsure exactly what he meant *nervous* but I'm pretty sure it's good. I think. :P The other presentations were excellent! It was lots of fun to listen to- an excellent ending class. Despite feeling like a blockhead every time I leave Literature, I'll miss it. Then we had Scriptures class, which was a review class. To be perfectly frank, I was not at all mournful to see the end of that class.

Oh! And then we went to the mall afterward, Third World and I, and I bought a portable hard drive! So now I can back up my files and pics. *sigh of relief*

On Friday was the last Science class, which was funnish. That was an enjoyable class, but again, I shan't miss it. In trivium, we then discussed... pacifism. Who wants to go out on a tame note anyways? I think I kept my temper admirably well, though my blood pressure went up a little bit when someone made the comment, "You can't be a good soldier and a good Christian." *wide mirthless smile* It basically ended with us running out of time and agreeing only on the fact that Jesus in his incarnation was pacifist in that he did not try to defend himself by violence. *sigh*

Then last night we went to the other girl's house for Texas's birthday, and "end of classes party". That was a ball!

Now, I really need to go study, so, farewell. :P

Christian pop music is like Byzantine iconography. Once they found a formula, they stuck with it!

Yes, so, exams are next week. I am already petrified scared about them. I really don't want to fail, and I have a dreadful suspicion that I haven't been paying near enough attention in classes, so I won't be able to answer any of the questions. *cries*

As a result, I am determinedly not thinking about them, I'm just focusing on the pressing things that need to be done, such as Latin translations for Wednesday, and Dr. Patrick's Term paper for tomorrow, and the Literature Presentation for Thursday, and the Literature Paper for Thursday, and the Scriptures presentation for Thursday. Actually, those are all prepared except the Lit paper and the Latin Translations. I have about half of those both done.

Anyhow, my little brother Gid has an eval on Monday, the day of my Latin and Philosophy exams. The last eval was bad. I'm worried about the results of this one. Even putting aside the fear of if this next eval goes poorly, I"m afraid of how I will be able to deal with if it is bad. I still have 5 more exams after Monday goes by; I can't lose it and spend all my time in prayer.

Now THAT's taking worrying to a new level. Okay, I think I need to take some sleep, and do some more praying. :P

*wanders off*

P.S. Today was our last Philosophy class, and it was 3.5 hours long, on Post-modernism. It was really interesting, but I wish I could have paid attention more. I'm rather fragmented in class. o.O

P.P.S. Everything lately is geared towards arming us to deal with post-modernism. It's mildly amusing since I don't plan to go into a university, and people usually don't talk to me. However, when I get the urge to scoff I must remind myself that I don't know the future, and maybe I will end up having to argue in the defense of objective truth.

I really am going to bed now.

I cnat spele...

GAH!!!!!
My personal incompetence frustrates me!

I work slowly to begin with.

Case in point; Latin. Even setting aside Third World and Moon Unit, who can translate cold in class, I translate much slower that most of the class. There's a bunch of people- 8, I think- who get straight out of class and translate the sentences for next class. It takes them about an hour. It takes me three. *sneers*

Then the fact that I type slowly... last night it took me something like 4 hours to type out 2,000 words I had hand-written previously. That is actually a compound problem. When I type without mistakes I'm only moderately slower than the average, but I make a lot of mistakes. At the beginning of the year I could see right away when something looked wrong, but now I've done the mistakes so often that "slef" looks right. (that was supposed to be "self", for those who habitually spell correctly.) Discounting even the words that I actually have the letters wrong for, I keep messing up the letter order within the sentences, or putting the spaces in the wrong places. Which means that after every thought-block I need to go back and get rid of all the little red lines.

Then throw in a dash of being unable to concentrate on things for long periods of time! No, I can read, or do code, or write fiction for HOURS straight, but in school work I start to degenerate to kindergarten level after about 2 hours. The brain just gives out

Which means that I take a long time to get anything done. *cries* I really think I'm not cut out to be an academic...

Okay, enough of the rant. I only have two more weeks of this and I'm done! I learn more about how to manage my time every term, so even if/when I take correspondence courses or other things on a similar deadline it should be easier. Should...

Only one week of classes left. Such a strange thought.

"To dance wildly in a sideways manner, to imitate a crab."

Well, it's finally arrived. The time when I have so much work LOOMING over head that I can't think about it all at the same time for fear that I'll run off in a dead panic. So I will just say that I have a nice bit of stuff to do.

However, even with lots of menacing work to do, I do still have time to relax and hang out with my friends. Therefore, I cannot call this a intense workload. I have other people's to compare it to. Medical school? My dad's electrical training? I'm laughing, I have so much free time. *grins* So, even if I complain, I still acknowledge that this isn't really that hard, really.

*long silence*

"So, why did you fail then?"

No! I shall not fret about my upcoming pain and humiliation! *laughs manically*

We're going to the art gallery this evening, which should be jolly. (The college comes out in force and troops down to look at paintings...) Unfortunately our art class on Tuesday was canceled when the Professor lost the images for it. He works so hard, he's usually going on 2 hours of sleep. He's trying frantically to fit in so much art before the end of term, and then this happens. It was quite sad. Right, gallery tonight. Is jolly.

I don't think I've mentioned this before, but Em is the patron saint of book buying (in addition to hiccups). She can find golden bargains anywhere, and she returned yesterday that a book surplus store in the mall was going out of business. Everything 50% off, on previously discounted shiny new books. Moon Unit, Third World and I of course immediately traipsed down to the mall as soon as we were at a stopping point. I won't bore you with the details, particularly since I acquired some gifts, but let it be known that I now possess a bunch more loverly books, and all for under $25.00. *glee*

Oh, and we hit the passive in Latin, and interrogative pronouns and adjectives. Self is not delirious with joy.