It's time to rearrange!

I felt the need for change, so I changed the template, added some links, and a tags list. Maybe I have too much time on my hands...

Something to think about

God will, therefore, certainly recompense both evil for evil, because He is just; and good for evil, because He is good; and good for good, because He is good and just: only, evil for good He will never recompense, because He is not unjust.
-St. Augustine of Hippo, Chapter 45 of On Grace and Free Will

Words, words, words!

I haven't mentioned this yet, but I love words! I love the mechanics of how the language fits together, (even though my grammar is often abysmal). I love how you can get such a sense of place from such an artificial construct. 

I am not a future English major, I'm pretty sure, though I've read a lot. It's not the analysis of work that interests me, and it's an effort to read "classics". But oh, the lovely perfection of a character summed in a sentence, as this from Agatha Christie:

He had the face of a medieval poisoner and the soul of an injured rabbit.

Isn't that just lovely! *rubs hands in glee*

Then to see an idea, an outlook on the world, to be encapsulated in a brief turn of phrase by Emily Bronte:

No coward soul is mine
No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere:
I see heaven's glories shine,
And faith shines equal, arming me from fear.

Wow.

This is why, also, I find it difficult to pick up a pencil and write myself. I have such wonderful examples stored in my head. What that I write could ever compare? Ah well, I have to keep in mind that I'm not to be the best, just the best that I can.

Christmas Day

The view from my front yard

Christmas fun at home.

Merry Christmas!

wow

So, after much weeping and gnashing of teeth, I received a confirmed flight from Toronto to St. john's via Halifax on 19:55 on the 18th of December, 2007. Flight 2628. I know this, because I was on the flight. However, Air Canada appearently does not know this, because they have just sent me this.

What? My rebooked flight still stands? I was on standby for 4 flights before I left Toronto. They were changing my ticket information every time. Except, apparently not.

Amazing.

Home!

I'm HOME!

So, after my flight was canceled on Saturday afternoon, I finally made it back at 1:30 Wednesday afternoon. Not an experience I would have chosen, but still overall rather fun, (in the same way that the philosophy exam was fun. : )

I spent 24 hours on standby in Toronto, which was interesting in many senses. RM lives on the outskirts of town, and she marvelously drove out to pick me up, and gave me a bed for the night. Her family has an excellent house, all wood-paneling and rooms in exactly the right place. Moreover, the time I spent in the airport was not particularly stressful. I was number 126 on the standby list to st. john's, and there were people who had been on the list for three days. That sounds like it should inspire stress, but instead I was able to tell myself that I actually had nothing whatsoever to complain about. When I've been stuck in an airport for three nights, and now told I'll be kicked out by security this evening, with no one to call and every hotel full; Then I'll get peeved. In addition, I saw some really interesting types of people, including a man who let me go ahead of him in the line to get a confirmed seat (more valuable than diamonds at this point, and considerably rarer.) He didn't get a confirmation, while I did, and he had been stuck there for four days. Thankfully, this gentleman got a standby seat on the same flight I was confirmed on. He was only about 25, and the last one on the list of 126 to make it out of the airport.

Then when I got to St. john's I was met by two gems of people who met me at 2:30am, waited for me while I stood by the baggage carousal for an hour, and drove me to their home. Then they got me up in the morning, made me breakfast, and went to work. To recap, that is 2 hours of sleep, undertaken for a girl whom they barely know. The salt of the earth, these people.

I have learned from this venture:
-To not fly Air Canada, if I can possibly help it. (They didn't even provide bottles of water for the stranded passengers, while Westjet was putting their customers up in hotels with money for food. )
-I am blessed in my friends
-I am blessed in my family's friends
-I am oddly able to stay happy during a crisis, provided that I can do SOMETHING.
-Travel is very interesting, not predictable, but fascinating!
-There are still gentlemen within my demographic.
-God will provide. (This whole year is an extended example of this lesson.)
-It's good to be home.

winter weather cont.

Well, my second flight was cancled.

The next one is on the 22nd.
Actually, it gets in at 3:45 in the morning on the 23.

I am not amused.

Winter weather and airlines

Yes, directly after I wrote that post last night, I found that my flight had been canceled. Interestingly, I did not find this out from the airline. Instead, Star heard on CBC that there was a weather warning out for effectively everything east of Manitoba, and checked her flight. Then she msned me. Then I looked online, and picked up the phone. Five hours later, and many alternate itineraries, I have a confirmed alternate route.

You see, when I first called, they were just going to put me on an alternate flight to Toronto, and then I would catch my original flight from there. Then it transpired that nothing out of Ottawa was moving before 3 PM. As my flight was at noon, there seemed to be an issue with the former plan.

Next plan involved calling Via Rail. I told them what flight I had been on, and they said," yes, there isn't a problem with that, we can replace that flight." Great! That wasn't so hard, says I to myself. Then the man continues, "... you'll have a connection through Montreal, and then change to Acadian Bus Lines in Truro. That'll take you as far as North Sydney." Hmmmm. North Sydney. On Monday night. With no money for the Ferry. With a weather warning in effect. With no one in town I know. Let's try this again, shall we?

"Should I book it?" Asks the man. At this point, I have spent close to 2 hours on the phone, but my sanity is still partially intact. I ask if the ferry cost is covered. The man answers that he doesn't know. [mental image of spending Christmas in the Marine Atlantic Ferry Terminal] I should say, that throughout this whole evening there was a strong sense of "you'd better fend for your self, cause we sure ain't finding an alternate route for you." Anyways, *coughs* I next performed brilliant mental acrobatics, and thought of Toronto. They're always flying out of there, right? If I get there, I can catch the NEXT flight home. At this point, my memory is a little foggy. I don't remember if I called Air Canada to found out if they were still flying out of Toronto, or if I booked the train then, but I booked a train ride, from Ottawa to Toronto, on Sunday. Now for the flight from Toronto.

I call Air Canada. Just as an aside, doesn't it strike joy in your heart to be greeted with "due to exceptionally high call volume, all our agents are busy right now." Particularly when you know that the three main airports for eastern Canada (Toronto, Montreal, Halifax) are effectively shut down right now, during the Christmas rush. After 45 minutes on hold, I finally talk to a person. I have been put in a borderline hypnotic state by the phone at this time, but I mange to give my spiel. "hi, my name is ___, I was on flight 8833 from Ottawa to St. John's, I called before and they told me to call Via Rail. I reserved a seat from Ottawa to Toronto, but my flight would leave at noon and the train gets into Toronto at 12:45. Can I take the next flight?"*inhale* The man, probably very used to dealing with hysterical travelers at this point, says he'll see what he can do.

Every flight out of Toronto going east is booked for Sunday. Let's look at Monday: full. I say something inane about being willing to connect through the states. This guys says calmly that they wouldn't do that. Side note: when I called before, the news that I was traveling from Ottawa to St. John's was greeted with an "Oh Gawd!" *bottom drops out of the stomach*. However, this man seems to find it not inconceivable that I could actually get home within the next three days. He says that there is one seat. I go, "oh?!" The last seat, on the last flight before Tuesday evening. It's a direct flight for me, starting in Calgary, stopping to refuel in Ottawa. The seat is in Executive class. The guys tells me that I'll be probably bumped down to Economy, but I hold a shining hope in my mind.

I'll be getting into St. John's 12 hours later than expected, I guess I should call home and tell my family. I call, and it transpires that they have to be in another town for a Chemo treatment at that time. Hmmm, perhaps booking myself into a town 1000 km round trip away from home wasn't the best idea. Better call Air Canada again.

50 minutes later.... I have a booked connection from St. John's to an airport only an hour away from home. I call home with the news. However, they seem to think I won't like the 36 hour layover in St. John's. Right, oh. Maybe I could sightsee? No.

Time to call Air Canada Again. I'm only on hold for about half an hour this time, I guess things are being ironed out. I cancel that connection. I try to add it on to the other end of my round trip flight, but they're having none of that. Finally, I have a route fixed. I'll fly to St. john's and be met by a friend, who will put me on the bus in the early morning.

Over all, this hasn't been too stressful, though I certainly wasn't operating at 100% by the end of the evening. Hands shaking, sore ears, crick in the neck, inability to find the correct words at any given time; normal, really. : ) This has given me a healthy mistrust of airlines, I think. Last time I flew solo, a delayed flight caused me to miss my connection, and they lost my luggage. So now I entirely expect things to not go according to plan. Bad thought: I've had a missed flight, and a weather cancellation, what's left for my return flight? A terrorist scare?

Oh well, I'll face then when or if it happens. Now I'm going home! Ya!

Life is good

I've been in a happy mood today. A day to walk around with a lilt on my step and my head high. I've been struck again by the way that God continues to provide. I started this year with almost no money and no prospects of income. Now, four months later, I have not only not gone hungry, I have actually managed to gain a little weight, (a triumph on more than one level!) I've gone Christmas shopping, and generally not felt want. This has generally been a really good term. I've learned like you wouldn't believe. I've seen new places and things. I've made friends.

And even problems aren't going to change this fact. I write that because my flight home has just been canceled. I'm now taking the train to Toronto. Cool!

thinking...

I have definitely discovered something interesting about the way my mind works today. Moon Unit, Third World and I were all walking over to the Other Girls' House for a cookie decorating party, and while walking we played a word association game. One person says a word, the next person says a word which the former word makes them think of, the next person says a word which that word makes them think of, and you continue around and around in a circle. It's quite funny, but after twenty minutes or so, I started to notice a pattern in my responses. The others would hear a word, think of a word, and say it. I would hear a word, think of an image, and say a word which described that image. I kept saying colours, for example. So, I think in images first, and then translate them. Interesting! I have also realized, through IMing, that I have a remarkable tendency to scramble letters within words. Always cool to realize something of how you work, and here are two things to think over.

Double spaced

There is my art exam sheet in front of me. I pick it up and read;

Write at length (3 or more pages, double-spaced) about one work that we have examined this term.

Then, further down the page;

...writing 2 or more pages (double-spaced) on each.

Pretty clear, no? You have a good idea as what to do? I should know what was going on? NO! my brain performed the following stunning jump of mental logic. Okay, one page double spaced typed equals one page single spaced handwritten, so this means write 3, (or 2), pages single spaced handwritten. I start off.

Halfway through the exam, people start LEAVING! I am only half way through, and I am in great awe of the medical students in the class, who can finish so fast. But people keep leaving! Eventually, with fifteen minutes left in the exam, I am the only one left in the room. I mentally decide that I must really not have studied enough, and write doggedly on. Finally I finish, with five minutes left. I spend the time checking my five double-sided single-spaced pages for spelling, and walk out after two hours and forty five minutes of writing.

Then I found out why it took my twice as long as everybody else to write my exam. Oops...

We stand with our candles and listen

I went to a "Lessons and Carols" service, (an Anglican traditional service), last night. Shall I describe it?

Walking in, I am given an order of service, and an unlit candle. After finding a pew I listen to the organ being played. My music teacher is playing Bach. Except for the candles, this seems like any other evensong service. Now the lights go out in the church, leaving only some candles on the altar and a light in the choir loft behind my head. The church suddenly feels medieval. Now the choir starts, and it does not sound human. The sound coming from behind me is entirely otherworldly, and goosebumps start up my spine. The procession moves up the aisle. It's all the clergy of the church, carrying banners, candles, and the cross. As they pass the aisle, the person nearest them lights their candle, and then the person next to them, and so on, passing the flame through the church. The service continues with hymns that we all sing, incredible choir carols, and readings from the scriptures. We stand with our candles and listen.

Philosphy, headache and tea; the perfect combination

I'm writing my Philosophy essay.

I choose to compare and contrast the ethics of the New Testament, and Aristotle's Nicomacean Ethics.

My sanity is quite possibly in question at this point.


I'm glad I chose this question to write my essay on, as these are two books I was fascinated with when we studied them. But... I would chose the two biggest subjects to discuss. We spend THREE WEEKS on Aristotle, and two on the New Testament. Five weeks of lectures and 75 pages of reading, to distill into 3 pages of essay. The pain, the pain... And then there's the Philosophy exam itself. And I have three thousand-word essays to prepare for Art. And then there's Music class. I think I need more tea.

I thank God fervently at this point that the Latin exam was canceled.

Of innocence and homecoming

This year I've realized precisely how sheltered I have been. There hasn't been anything I've learned that I've been shocked to know goes on, but it's entirely outside of my realm of experience much of the time. I simply have no reference points for much of the "social interaction", (paugh!) that goes on with people my age. Despite not being the youngest, I am actually the most innocent of my group.

I'm fine with this. I've embraced my role as the "homeschooler from out east"! Fortunately, I'm the only one from the east, so I can chalk up a multitude of oddness to where I'm from. *grins sheepishly* However, I'm going back home in under two weeks, and I'm definitely not the clueless one there. It is quite possible that my siblings have changed while I've been gone, but still I'm not sure how everything will pan out. I've changed a LOT, and life has gone on in my absence.

The transition will be odd.

Snow Day

I declare. Walking in the snow is the best practice. If I have an issue, just to get out in motion and pour out my heart to God; it's a good thing. A very good thing.

Be who you are.

I said I'd try and find a delusion every month to point out, but this is not so much a delusion discovered as an epiphany.

In Trivium this week the class looked at an essay by Annie Dillard, Living like Weasels. We talked about a number of things, but the point that was really driven home for me came out of this line;

The thing is to stalk your calling in a certain skilled and supple way...

This line was picked upon, and started a discussion about finding your calling. A certain person who shall remain nameless gave a discourse on how what is wrong with our education system is that it does not allow people to follow their interests until they graduate. As a result, the immature people this produces don't know what career to choose and spend their twenties "finding themselves". I then started feeling defensive because I don't have a sweet clue what I'm going to do after this year is up. Anyhow, the conversation dwelt for a while on this topic, with a general sense of growing uncomfortableness from most of the class, because most of the class is also undecided in what to do next year. Just when I was feeling mildly wretched, Texas, bless her heart, made a wonderful remark. She said that we often equate "calling" with "career", when it is much more than that. Your calling is to be the person God made you to be; a parent, a musician, an arithmetician, an architect, or any combination thereof.

This makes so much sense it is almost uncanny. All my philosophy lectures for the past three months converged elegantly into this point! The thing is to know oneself, to be who you are, to flourish. If you are fulfilling the purpose of man, your career will either progress logically from your knowledge of who you are, or be incidental. It is not the only thing which defines you. This is amazing to me.

Ironic side note: When there was the general discussion of how our education system is flawed since it forces everyone to take the same classes, the homeschoolers in the room were strangely silent... We have already mangled the Public vs. Home school issue, and neither side really wants to open that can of worms again, but I did smile internally.

Tea and Conversation

RM has been off about town lately, and now has gone home for the weekend. So after a few days of hermitage, I've spent the evening talking with the other people who live in my house. (yes, self, remember them?) This has been a reminder to not simply hide under a rock and converse with only one person.

Right, note to self for future: Remember that there are other people to talk to, even those you don't normally hang around with!

Weather Zones

-begin sarcasm-

In my infinite wisdom *cough*, I realized that it would not snow in Ottawa till late December, so I would not need to bring my bulky snow boots with me until after Christmas.

-cease sarcasm-

Right now, there is about two inches of snow on the ground, copious slush in the street, and and I have no winter boots. Somehow, I overlooked the fact different places on the continent have different weather patterns. What do you know! The tradition of there being snow in December actually applies in some places! [Hmmm, that was still rather sarcastic. Oops]

At any rate, I only have to stick it out for under three weeks, and then I'll be going HOME. I can wait it out in sneakers or heels for three weeks. I'd walk around barefoot for three weeks to get home at this point! I now understand a multitude of sentimental cards and carols about "coming home".

Everyday

There is something new to learn everyday. Every single day I go to bed thinking, "wow, that's something to think about". I'm learning about the world, about myself, about other people. I don't want that to ever stop. I want to keep on learning for as long as I still can think.

Even when it's frustrating, life is just so interesting!

A nice title

Over the past week, several people have remarked on the manner in which I deport myself. It seems that my classmates regard me as a lady. This causes me quiet joy.

Jazz

Last Friday, in the midst of helping clean the kitchen, Lamd turned around suddenly and asked, "does anyone ever call you Hot Jazz? How about Smooth Jazz? Free Jazz?" Here that line of questioning died due to his audience's reaction. I was in complete bewilderment at the idea of someone applying those adjectives to my name, RM was doubled over laughing. Lamd stood there, calmly querying, with a dishcloth in his hand.

Priceless!

Not the eldest

I realized today that I am not responsible for the protection of my classmates. This seems a rather late realization, and I knew it intellectually before, but there was a pretty little demonstration today. The full story is long, and undoubtedly tedious if you were not there. In short, there was an exchange between two students near my age, which I didn't understand. I asked for an explanation later, and the person I asked danced sideways around the issue. So, I was being protected from an unsavory piece of information. I should know, I've done it often enough with my younger siblings, but it's odd to think that someone else, not my parents or family friends, should be protective of me. I am rather innocent on many issues. I often don't even see that there is an issue! Strange thought.

November 11th

I attended the Remembrance Day ceremony at the War Memorial this year. It was very good. My last November 11th was spent in a small town of 2,000 people, and this ceremony had 30,00 in attendance, so there was a big change! They shot off artillery of some kind during the wreath laying ceremony, there was a piper, (several), and a fly-over of fighter jets. Very impressive, and very stirring.



I always go away from November 11th with a mixed feeling of sorrow, anger and determination. I can't even say why it happens, but I know I walk away with Winston Churchill in my ears and my father's stories in my head. I am so proud of my family. I have had 4 direct family members in the past century who were in the military that I know of, and probably there are more in other family branches I'm not as familiar with. Just the idea of signing up to die if needed, and lying about your age to get in! It makes me want to cry, almost, to know those are the people I'm related to. I think I see November 11th a little differently from other people my age, even those who have grandparents and other relatives who have served. Maybe I've heard different stories, or I've seen the other side of the news, or what I don't know, but it stirs in me a more visceral reaction than my compatriots.

Anyways, the ceremony its self was "bomb!", but there was a non-pleasant interlude on the walk to and from the war memorial. Waiting at a crosswalk, I saw ahead a man in combats. This was not too far out of the normal, as there are usually military members in the downtown, and this was after all the 11th of November. However, while standing next to this man at the light, I noticed that he: was wearing the old-style combats in solid cloth, had no rank insignia, had his boots tucked on the outside of one pant leg, had mildly scuffed boots, was not wearing a hat, was not clean-shaven, and had a large wrinkle down the back of his jacket. From this, I deduced that he was no more military than I was. Thinking of viceral reactions, I was rather amazed to see how much this annoyed me. I skipped right over rising anger and went straight to icy wrath.

Maybe I'm making a big thing out of nothing, but I was really hurt to see someone wearing that uniform who had so obviously not sworn an oath. Writing two days later, my temper has finally cooled enough that I can think about this man without bracketing "man" in descriptive adjectives, but I still wonder what on EARTH that guy thought he was doing. I can think of two legitimate reasons. There is the possibility that he was wearing the uniform, which people now respect, in the hopes of receiving some positive recognition. The other option is that he was acting out of an extremely misguided sense of "support our troops". For my sanity, I will choose to think that the latter explanation is most likely.

Possible Exped-enture...

Exped-enture [noun] : 1. Venture or expedition which becomes an adventure by having something go wrong.| 2. Trip undertaken with insufficient directions or preparations.| 3. Any hilarious outing with one's friends.

Tomorrow evening the class is going to Professor Tucker's house for a Movie Night. We are traveling out in two cars, and by bus. According to tradition, at least one group should become lost, it being only a matter of how seriously they are lost. (Federal border crossing, or Provincial?)

Exciting!

Delusion? What delusion?

So, the main title, it should have some explanation.

I'm attending Post-secondary this year, and learning much, but the biggest thing I know so far is that I really don't know anything. That likely sounds either really pretentious or really depressed. An explanation..

This year to date has been an excellent exercise in falling on my face. I've realized that some,(many), things I was taking for granted are not so simple. Some ideas I didn't even see I was right in I have discovered, and I've seen some cherished ideas fall down spectacularly. It's been amazing!

At any rate, once I realized how sparse my information was on certain subjects, I had two behavior options. I could hide away, or I could go out and kick my own conceptions down. There was a time in my like when I could and did hide, but now I've decided to take the other option.

It's just so much more interesting to fall on your face! Particularly if you are flailing for a grip on your way down! I'm sure I don't have any particular incident in mind, never no way..

Now in the interests of expanding the bounds of my ignorance into new spheres, I shall try to pinpoint a delusion every month. The first painful delusion to fall over, my thoughts on Mac computers. This idea isn't entirely dead, but I definitely see a delusion going on. (Show it the light of day! kill thedelusion with sunlight!)

I am an avid Mac user, and I've only ever used Mac. Until this year. Every time I previously used a Windows computer it felt remarkably like beating my head against a wall, and I therefore determined (deductive reasoning!) that all Windows computers were essentially clever devices for driving their users mad. Now this year, I've been forced to use Windows, and it's, *coughs* not that bad. I still hold that Macs are intrinsically superior, but I can use Windows, and I can actually even enjoy my time on the computer.

There you have it. My first preconceived notion to fall over when tested!

me

Moon-unit saw this and said, "you look like a wood nymph! The ones who hide in trees and lie in wait for travelers and kill them!"

Wow, I feel flattered.

Starting up?

Okay, so this is my first venture into blogging, so expect extreme incoherence. I'm not telling anyone that I'm starting this, at first anyways, so I can get the bugs out.

Basic stuff about me then: I'm attending college in Ottawa, and I live in the college. So, my domicile is full of other girls. More info, you ask? No, sorry, your security clearance isn't quite high enough.

MOving on! I had forgotten how much fun it is to play with little boys! Hal left his kids here this evening while he went to a class, and I was entirely mobbed. I somehow cast myself as the evil foe in their eyes, and then I withheld cookies from them.

I tell you, a kid attached to each ankle, one on my back, another underfoot...

I was actually kicked in the head at one point (unintentionally), and my shirt has a popped seam where tried to drag me outside. I "died", ummmm, probably 5 times, whereupon of course the small ones would all poke me in the back. I have a feeling I came off definitely the worst of our several altercations, but I am feeling very serene now. Got to go entirely crazy with small ones every little while!

I would find it hilarious if I had a black eye tomorrow. "ya, a guy kicked me in the head."

That fits so well with my brawler persona!