Sing You Home.

I don't know how to deal with this season. The assumption from everyone, particularly those who don't know my history, and that segment is getting larger, as it is two year now since my little brother died, is that is his a joyful season. Only it's really not, it's a season of grieving.

Grieving is the strangest emotion, because it can coexist silently with the rest of my life for months. I notice if I'm particularly sad, or particularly happy or angry, but grief just steals into the background and I don't notice until I'm ready to beat my head off of walls in desperation and fury. Because no, grief doesn't just mean tears. At least not for me. I get angry.

This would be because my default emotion whenever I don't agree with the way something is going is to get mad. As I am not the high queen of the world and things often do not follow my grand plan, I am mad frequently. Which means I don't really need more anger in my life. Particularly here- it neither helps nor honours the person I'm grieving for if I am ready to attack the world at any moment.

Only I don't know how to not be angry. It's such a fast reaction to get into, and it's so much safer than lying myself open to the rest of the world so they can trample on me. All well-meaningly, of course.

This month will be an exercise in trying to cool down. So far I've primarily failed at that, but today this song helped. And it's lovely, even if you don't have grief/anger problems.

Rather light-headed.

So, I still intend to blog. But as you may have noticed, I'm also doing Nanowrimo. And there are only a certain amount of words in the old noggin per day. (At least that's what's happening this year...)

So for the duration of the month, I think I'll direct you over to my writing blog, Stories Of Medusa, where whatever leftover words I have are coming to rest. There resides such FASCINATING things as me griping, interviewing my characters, and maybe someday, word counts!

So not much different from here. :D

Anyhow, have a good day!

(Also I cut a foot of my hair off last night, to donate. My head feels rather funny.)

Decision Making: THE NEXT LEVEL

So I HAVE made decisions about my life in my past. You know, the normal stuff, like "should I cut my hair," and "should I read that book," and also bigger things, like "should I go to this college," and "should I move home after college." Decisions are not entirely foreign to me.

BUT! I realized today that all of the "Big Decisions," I've made in the past have been Yes or No type things. Do I stay or do I go now.... *sings*

Ah-hem. *cough*

Anyhow. Yes. Decision making being Y/N! I'm pretty cool with that, and making the decision and moving on. Only now, I'm faced with a decision that's all "oh, pick one of these three options with two mixed variables and several possible outcomes with three funding choices- or not."

SO MANY OPTIONS. AUUUUUUUUUUGH.

I could go to St FX, or STU, or even MUN, if they accept me. And I could start in January, or September. And I could go on loans, if I could get them, or I could mainly work my way through. And I could study anything in the arts faculty. And today MUN made things MUCH harder, by DARING to have interesting classes I wanna take. So now decisions are hard again. *sulks*

OR I could just give it all up and hitch-hike across Europe! Not gonna like, option Europe is looking pretty good.

Thank you for tuning in. This has been your episode of Jasmine Angsts. Tune in next time to hear Jasmine talk about housing woes. Because woe is me, I'm so woe, and I have woes.

We had a campfire today! Mommy made hamburgers on a grate on the coals, and I showed the younger ones how to make your marshmallows last for AGES by just taking off the outer shell.

Also, I wrote OVER 1667 words. *nods* It was a triumphant moment.

Gah, I forgot to blog about something that makes me happy yesterday! Fail Jasmine- OH WAIT.

It wasn't a fail, cause I was writing. ^_^

I've been having a really hard time with NaNoWriMo this year, but yesterday I left my sanity in a closet and cranked out 1300 words. Go me?

And here's a quote from the 11th that delighted me.

"If you're not going to use the mic when you lead a crowd in the singing of God Save The Queen, don't do an interpretive version."

Also, this song rocks my world

"For I have slipped the surly bonds of earth..."

November 11th is Remembrence Day, here in Canada, so that was- nice? One of the awkward things about facebook is how everyone jumps onto bandwagons, particularly about holidays. Even when I wholeheartedly believe in the status of a holiday, it seems like everyone is trying to one-up the other with profile pics and quotes? Which just strikes me as odd, when the holiday is about something like remembering, which is not necessarily done with trumpets and bells. Which is to say that if you saw me on FB, it probably looks like I didn't remember. But I did! :D

I am lucky enough to have had four generations of my family in the Canadian Military, and they've all come home. I have two cousins in active service, and two of my childhood friends just joined the US Army and the US Marines. Plus the many many family friends who are on active service.

So I remember.

And even though the introvert in me is a little weirded out by the loud remembering, it's still good to see online, and to see the crowds who turn out to the wreath laying ceremony. Makes me proud of my country/friends/town, and family. :D

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."

I found this video today, and it delights me. It reminded me how the world, and how the world is constructed, is truly amazing. I'm pretty sure that the people quoted did not mean it in a theistic way, but I'm DIFFERENT, okay? :D

Quotes from Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking, auto-tuned and toyed with.
(Also, you can do amazing things with language and the description of the world, eh?)

Also, I went to the library for a write-in! This time the internet kicked me off, so I got almost a thousand words written. Which is a thousand words more than I had yesterday! :D

Additionally, St Thomas gave me the gift of not accepting my credits, so that they are are not the clear leader in the university search. So now I get to play CHOOSE THE SCHOOL this weekend, which is a game we all love to play. ^_^

I hope your day was full of things to be happy about!

I am the Everyman.

Today I had one of those moments, that I'm sure we are all totally familiar with, where you look at the website of your chosen university, and you notice that half of the students are boys. This, of course, is when gentle fingers of terror close around your heart, and you develop a strong desire to crawl into your drop-safe and disappear.

Also, a 59 year old man asked me out on a date. Or more specially, to "share a box of chicken some night." he then mentioned marriage, and I said all my evenings were full.

So yes, my life continues to be perfectly normal.

The adventures in funding continue...

Right, so, I kind have no way to ease into this, and limited time. So I'll just dive right into the heart of the matter and say that I've been thinking about WHY I'm going to school. Obviously edification of my mind is right up there, but at some point you have to turn the learning time into a job.

So with the information that is available to me right now, it looks like there are three job options once I'm done with my BA.

1. Go on, stay in school, write and teach. 
1. I'd probably be writing more in terms of research than in terms of fiction, but I think I'd like this option. I like teaching (I think maybe?) and I definitely am fond of school.
2. This is the option I know least about, more research is required
2. Write Fiction.
1. Not a high-income life, and not something I can get a job in right out of school. There would have to be some lean years in there while I work on my craft. But I love writing, and people tell me I'm good at it. 
2. Am I good enough to publish, and take the many many rejections that come with this job? Really, only time will tell.
3. Join the Military.
1. Despite my lifelong fascination with the Military, I'd never really thought I could make it in that job. Then, like a lightening strike, we (my family) realized that I wouldn't have to be an infantry officer to join the forces. Because to be honest, I do not think that is where my strength lie. But there are other jobs, and a few of them sound really, really, REALLY interesting. Plus I wouldn't have to worry about money OR wardrobe any more. *beams at everyone*
2. I'm not exactly sure if my strong interests and talents do fit into the jobs that I find interesting. More research required as to what I like to study.

So where am I? These jobs all sound interesting, but they all have one thing in common. 

I really can't decide yet. :P

Especially with the military, I am truly between two minds in a way I rarely am. I look at the job, and then I look at it again, and then I see the part about sports training, and then I see the part about leadership, and then I see... it goes on and on. *head implodes*

Therefore it seems the most prudent thing to do would be to go to school under my OWN steam, (weak cheer,) and after I know what I like in that field, and how good I am at it, I reevaluate. ^_^ 

I look forward to the news that renders this post entirely invalid the moment I post it, as news has a habit of doing.

State of the me: University updates

SO. I'm going to school. At least that's the plan. But you see, going to good universities in other provinces has a nasty habit of costing money. So right now my status is setting out on the great traditional money hunt. (Or panicking over the money hunt, but shush, don't burst my bubble.)

In the hunt, I've found these options, which I am now weighing and panicking over. As one does.

Scholarships/Endowments: Sometimes people give you money to go to school!

• Pros: You don't have to give the money back! w00t!
• Cons: You have to have things like grades and leadership ability and extra-curricular things to show them, or fiscal need. I have the fiscal need, but not so much the others. Plus, they're on the September-start calendar, which means I can't get them before January. Eeshh.
• Verdict: Look into it, but don't expect lots of free money.

Government Loans: Sometimes the government will lend you money to go to school!

• Pros: It's a well-established process. And there's money on the other end. 
• Cons: Just- it's the government. They have a habit of taking the money away. Plus they make you jump through hoops a lot. As I've technically been working part-time for the past two years. I'm not even sure if I'm eligible.
• Verdict: Only one way to find out if I'm eligible. 

Bank Loan: The banks LOVE to lend you money.

• Pros: It builds your credit, you only pay interest on the part you use, and it's definitely available. 
• Cons: I'm not sure if I have enough credit for one on my own, I may need a counter-signatory. 
• Verdict: A solid option. But try for free money first

Work: I can make the darn money myself first, then start in September. Like an effing ADULT.

• Pros: No debt! Pride and satisfaction!
• Cons: I wouldn't be able to start for another 10 months. The fact that this makes me want to swear a lot, probably isn't a great sign. Plus I'm not sure if it would be at ALL good for my mental health.
• Verdict: If all other options fall through, God wants me to do this. Like an ADULT. And it's a good option. I just don't like it.

Military: The military will pay you to go to school! And pay for your school! And give you a job after!

• Pros: I would get in shape. I would learn when and how to use deadly weapons. I would learn when and how not to cry. (Always assuming I survive basic training, and they want me.) I would have a job. I would learn French. I would have SO MUCH writing research. And yes, given that I always seem to want to write military-related stories, and I'm very nervous about botching that, research is something I care about. I'd have to learn leadership skills, like how not to verbally abuse people you're in charge of, how to stay in charge while letting people who actually know what they're talking about talk, and how to not get everyone killed. Which are great things to know, I'm not gonna lie.
• Cons: They might want me to go to RMC instead of St. Thomas. I'd get in shape. Basically it's not a funding choice so much as a life move, and I'm not sure if I want this move. I'd have to give up writing while learning french, deadly weapons, how not to die while running, and other life skills. I'm really not sure if I can make it. It's a seven year commitment, so I'd be 30 when I was out. 
• Verdict: Undecided. Maybe people give me money without my life, first?

Publish a short story/Novel: Sometimes people give you MONEY for writing!

• Pros: OMG PUBLISHED? EEEEEEEEEE??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????!!!!!!!!!!
• Cons: I don't have anything ready to publish. It needs more work. Serious work. And I've never heard anyone in the business speak of publishing as a very "fast money" type option.
• Verdict: Who am I kidding, I'm going for this anyhow.

So yes, that's the state of the me. ^_^

These are your emotions talking. Why are we on a roller coaster?

So, today, I checked my email two minutes before I had to go to work. I do this, because I never get emails two minutes before I go to work. But it makes me feel useful and aware of things that are happening on the internet.

Today I got an email two minutes before I went to work. I saw that it was titled "residence," and I went "huh?" And then I read it, and it informed me that a residence room had been reserved for me at my top choice university, please to send monies.

This is when I panicked on the internet at Moon Unit. She reminded me gently that I had to go to work, and do the hyperventilating while walking. SO I DID. And I managed to convince myself that the university residence office wasn't talking to the admissions office. Since I'd applied in a separate application to either office, clearly the right hand wasn't talking to the left hand.

That's about when I got myself down to sanguinity again. *plods home for lunch* AND OH LOOK THERE ARE PARENTS AND THEY HAVE A PACKAGE FOR ME I LOVE PACKAGES THIS ONE IS FROM A UNIVERSITY THAT LOOKS EXCITING OH MY IT HAS A FOLDER WITH A BOOK AND A LETTER IN IT AND IT SAYS "CONGRATULATION AND WELCOME TO OUR COMMUNITY." This is when the hugging and jumping about started.

And then they wanted it read aloud. That's when I noticed that it was addressed to John McDonald.

I may not have explicitly mentioned my name on this blog, but I can assure you that it does not begin with John, and neither does it end with McDonald. That's about when I looked at my lunch, and saw that it was a burned grilled cheese and lumpy cream of mushroom soup. Which seemed appropriate. *slurches about the lunch table* *eats one corner of the black sandwich*

And THEN- oh yes, internets, this story goes ON- I gave up on eating and called the admissions office.

Have a paraphrase of the conversation.
Me: "Oh hai, university which I dearly want to get into. I got this letter today, it kinda thinks I'm a guy. What's up with that?"
Uni: "Oh yes, he got the letter today, saying he's a woman, and he doesn't agree with that either, so we're sending out new packages today. Lolz."
Me: "So- I'm in?"
Uni: "No, of course not. JAY KAY you're totes accepted. We want your brain."
Me: "!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So I went back to work, where I was utterly useless all day, due to a tendency to skip about in high heels, and read the glossary of my university calendar.

P.S. The soup and sandwich were delicious.

An adventurous time in the life.

In the past three years, I've developed the practice of out-sourcing my memory to my blog. So when I saw a contest where to enter I had to write about an adventure I'd had, I thought "Oh, I'll just go through my blog archives!" And then I realized that didn't really fulfill the spirit of the contest. So I sat down and thought seriously about all the adventures I've experienced I haven't documented here. This is when I realized the downfall of our-sourcing, which is that I came up with a blank. "Adventures? Me? Try next door."

So I realized if I wanted to be be entered for the ARC on Beth Revis's website, I needed to go old school. I think this is the fourth (?) contest I've entered for the book. What can I say? I like mystery and SF and YA. *beams*

Old school adventure. Have at you.

Now I have issues with memory, aside from the out-soursing issue previously mentioned. Because when I think of my past, I am always an adult. It's only when connecting places in my memory to what I know of my personal timeline that I can actually figure out how old I am. You'd think I'd be able to use the traditional "I couldn't see over the table, therefore I must be small," method, but no. Apparently I just decided at one time that tables and chairs were at inconvenient heights, and got over it. Thankfully we moved a lot in my early childhood, so I can pretty much match houses to years of my life.

When I was eight we lived in tents in an old church that we were renovating. I spent a lot of time getting absolutely filthy in the old dock across the street. When I was seven we lived in part of a row house, where we were the envy of the neighbour kids because we had a fence and a tree. I was not quite as enraptured with the tree, because I discovered reading at this age. When I was five, and part of being six, we lived in a tall rowhouse in Florida, but we dwelled chiefly on the beach. There were hermit crabs and you had to be careful not to step on manta rays. When I was five we lived in a row house, and I got to help with the cooking. AS IS RIGHT when one is an adult. When I was four we lived in an apartment in Germany. There were a million steps up to the top where we lived, and you could see a million miles if you stood on the counter and looked out the window.

I hope you're lucky enough to remember being four. Four is an awesome age. You're small and cute enough to get away with just about anything, which is great, because the world is an adventure to be attacked with both fists. Everything is both utterly magical, and easily accepted, at four. I saw that the swing at the park was an alligator, found this to be delightful, and then found caterpillars in the sand to be equally delightful. (Honestly! It was this massive alligator that you rode, and you had to get about five kids working together to really get it going. Best swing ever.)

I think, frankly, we were in an especially wonderful place to be four. There were vending machines at the market that you put a quarter in, and they gave you little TINY cars with wheels that spun. And when we went to the park, we could play on the aforementioned alligator swing, or the massive teeter totters that threw you as high as the trees, or eat pretzels the size of our heads, or poke caterpillars around the edges of the vast tractor tires that made the edges of the sandbox. And then of course, there were those minuscule details, the castles that we picnicked in. I would like to submit that when you are four, exploring consists chiefly of finding every patch of stinging nettles and falling into them. I can find nettles by scent, now.

But there were also adventures that probably would have happened wherever I was, like my discovery of slugs. We were camping, and my little brother had to tell me about these snails that had lost their shells. They were orange. They were the length of my hand, and then some. I almost fell into the stream from sheer fascination affecting gravity and pulling me sideways. Have you ever really looked at slugs? I mean, really? They're all spotted and wrinkled, and they wave their eyes around, all arrogant. Plus they have like six eyes. As a glasses-wearing girl, I have to respect that.

And then there was the adventure I've been leading up to, which is highly anticlimactic, really. It happened because I was eavesdropping on my mother's conversation with her friends, as one does. What, you mean you're supposed to play, at age four? No, I eavesdropped and watched the ants climb the side of the building where I spilled my juice the other day. Hush you. And it came out in the course of the conversation, that a poor boy had stuck his tongue to a metal pole when it had frosted, and this appendage had gotten permanently stuck. They had to get it off with boiling water.

Well, you remember being four, don't you? You don't believe anything that's told to you when you're four! Even if it wasn't exactly said TO you.

It frosted the next day, and with great anticipation I demanded we go to the park, where there was a metal mesh cage. I figured this would work well for the test. So I climbed up to the top of the play centre, and promptly licked the mesh. Nothing happened. I even bit it, with no effect. There exists a sulky picture of me with my face pressed into the mesh, though I don't think anyone knows that I had just conduced a scientific experiment, and found it to FAIL.

So then several years later, when it was blizzarding out, I told my brother that nothing would happen if he licked that metal laundry pole. The laundry pole was not, as the playground mesh had been, coated in plastic. My brother left part of his tongue on the laundry pole, and then I turned up with a black eye at church, which I was only to ready to tell anyone who asked was caused by my brother and I getting into a water gun fight. In January. (Frozen water guns make GOOD weapons for hand-to-hand combat.)

This is not an optimally laid-out post. :D But there you have it, my rambly scientific adventure at age 4, (and 6.) Now I can be entered into the contest! (Btw, there are many lovely adventures mentioned in the comments, it is fun to check them out.)

Whew. Okay, my dad pointed out- without knowing quite to the extent that I was freaking out- that investing in anything is ridiculously expensive, and I'm worth the investment. Not quite sure still that I believe him on the second part, but at least I'm not wanting to stab myself with markers quite so much right now.

"I have no special skills. I am only passionately curious."

I've been looking at going back to university. And y'know, it looks interesting and all, but I've written if off for years simply because it's so expensive. That and I already had education debts. But I'm a.) finally paying off my debts as of two weeks from now, and b.) feeling trapped in a small town. So I'm looking again at getting OUT of here, and since I am passionately curious about many things, university seems a logical avenue to look into.

But I have to MOVE away, which means rent and food costs. Which means, with tuition and maybe buying two books or going to the theatre once a year, I'm looking at about 20 thousand dollars in living and school expenses for most schools.

A year.

I didn't make that much last year, all year! And I was working in a bank!

And since I and my family am not high income by the standards of anyone who lives in the Western World, I have to do it all on loans.

Which means in four years, I'm taking on about 80 thousand dollars in loans.

I HATE debts. They sap the joy from my soul, and the work I need to take to pay them off does the same. And it'll take YEARS to pay them off. Which I'm taking on to be frivolous and play around in books, with the ridiculous idea that I'm going to get a scholarship or teaching position out of it at the end. If I even LIKE teaching.

Cue despair?

I'e been thinking vaguely about this for a while.

So have a vague blog post!

It seems to me that there are two tendencies of human beings towards situations that are more physical than mental. The tendency towards violence, (wrath), and the tendency towards sex, (lust.) I'm phrasing this badly, but you do you know what I mean? Obviously they're not generally a reaction to the SAME situation, but they happen when you're thinking with your fists- or other body parts- rather than your reason.

My question is this. When did Wrath become a culturally acceptable reaction to nothing at all, while Lust is apparently verging on a virtue? Is it because Wrath usually ends up in pain for the person who's wrath-ful, and Lust is (in the short term) seen as pleasurable? (With the definition of happiness now being accepted as pleasure and the absence of pain.) Or could it be because Wrath is usually something that's inflicted on another person without their consent, whereas socially acceptable Lust is consensual, and seeking and getting consent is a cardinal virtue nowadays?

Anyhow, this has been rolling around in my head long enough. Admittedly I started thinking about it because I get angry very easily, much faster than I find myself attracted to anyone. So I don't even have social approval of my deadly sins. SIGH, life is so unjust.

Jk, jk, you know I jk. ^_^

Hopefully if I write this idea down, I can move on to other weird things. Like why country music can make me cry. I mean- why IS that?

P.S. I'm looking at universities to attend. Those places are EXPENSIVE!

Legal-speak. The dialect that can make a sentence turn around and swallow its own tail.

15. Disclaimer and Limitation of Liability.

YOU ACKNOWLEDGE AND AGREE THAT IN NO EVENT WILL THE COMPANY, ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, AGENTS AND REPRESENTATIVES BE LIABLE FOR ANY INCIDENTAL, INDIRECT, SPECIAL, EXEMPLARY, AGGRAVATED, PUNITIVE OR CONSEQUENTIAL LOSSES, CLAIMS, DAMAGES, LIABILITIES, OBLIGATIONS, AND EXPENSES (COLLECTIVELY, THE "CLAIMS") ARISING OUT OF THE SERVICES PROVIDED TO YOU UNDER THIS PARTICIPATION ACCOUNT AGREEMENT AND ANY PLAN(S) EXCEPT TO THE EXTENT THAT SUCH CLAIMS HAVE BEEN CAUSED BY THE GROSS NEGLIGENCE, WILLFUL ACT OR WILLFUL DEFAULT OF THE COMPANY OR ANY OF ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, AGENTS OR REPRESENTATIVES, EVEN IF THE COMPANY OR ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, AGENTS OR REPRESENTATIVES HAVE BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH CLAIMS, WHETHER IN AN ACTION IN CONTRACT, TORT OR NEGLIGENCE, OR BASED ON A WARRANTY ARISING OUT OF THE EXISTENCE, FURNISHING OR FUNCTIONING OF THE ADMINISTRATION PLATFORM.

And yes, that is one sentence.

"You're actually dripping oil on the floor right now."

So APPARENTLY, not everyone likes the smell of orange oil all over their Customer Service Representative. This was pointed out to me at work. While I was in the process of ripping apart an orange with my bare hands. As one does.

So I was instructed to peel my orange the "normal" way, with a napkin and a spoon, so I did not actually touch the objectionable orange oils.

Dude, I nearly gouged my eye out. Twice. Peeling an orange with a spoon is NOT EASY. I just thought you should know that. ^_^

Honey, I said, my life is a ghost story. Then tell it to me, she said.

I'm reading The Book Of Negroes, by Lawrence Hill, for book club. It's a book about slavery, from the viewpoint of a slave. Which, as you may have have guessed, does not make it a happy book. The MC was just raped, and that hasn't been the most terrible thing to happen so far. Oh, and I'm about one third into the book.

Which leads me to wonder- why do people read books like this? I mean, I'm reading it for a book club, but it was recommended by someone who'd read it for pleasure. Why do you choose for your enjoyment to read a book about the horrors that men can inflict on each other? I just don't get it!

I mean granted, before I read this I was starting to get annoyed at the people who are constantly apologizing for the sins of their fathers. And while I still think it is not really a good idea to constantly be blaming, apologizing and taking the credit for old sins, I can now see why people feel a visceral need to apologize. This is a large sin. It- shouldn't be glossed over.

BUT MOVING ON- I mean I got that within the first hundred pages. WHY would you keep reading about horrors? Is your life that boring, that you must replace the mundanity with old crimes made new?

SIGH. Okay. I'll go read more. And then I'll have to read one of my nice "fluffy" book before bed, so I don't spend the night on an imaginary slave ship.

"It's kinda a big deal."

And with seven hours (max) of sleep, we headed for Sin Jawns! The youngsters were all going to Camp Delight for eight days, and us adults were going along to drive, and- well, um, *waves hands vaguely* see people. You know, as adults do.

All the camp people crammed into the van of excitement and hysteria, and Daddy, Slonner and I were exiled to the car. *Looks at Van crammed full of excited children* *looks at VW full of space and a working radio* *compares*

Clearly, we had the short end of the stick. It was tragic, I tell you.

Daddy and I spent the 4.5 hour drive in listening to the radio, and talking art and marketing. As one does. Then we dropped off the children at Camp, where they took the absolute minimum amount of time getting settled in. THROW the luggage from the van. LUG AT HIGH SPEED to the cabins. HUG parents. Bye now! Trapezoid especially was very efficient. I was still helping small girls carry suitcases bigger than themselves when he had finished carrying three suitcases and a bag taller than him to his cabin. Then he vanished to do arcane boy things with his cabin. I didn't ask questions.

Now, as previously mentioned in the last post, I'd bought some earrings the day before. That meant that when we actually got to town, I didn't have my usual monies to spend on books or theatres. My normal Modus Operandi would have to be ADJUSTED. Therefore, while my industrious father went to take the ferry over to an old iron mine to take pictures of an indie turkish rock band, bringing my lovely mother and energetic small brother, I stayed in the hotel and chased a sunspot along the couch.

After this long and involved exercise, and after- incidentally- my family in town were barred from their ferry and had to wait for the next one, we had chinese food and entertained a newly married couple who were slightly younger than I. The entertainment mainly consisted of talk of schools and the music industry, and coffee and timbits. Which obviously is the best of all possible conversations. :D

After we'd exsausted the coffee, I was brought out in state to help grocery pick, and be driven about town at night, and see the new apartment. The new apartment was, of course, lovely. We watched the Taking Of Pelham 123, which was significantly less lovely. Profanity can be used effectively in a story, but I really don't think professional people use one word as the noun, verb, adjective and other modifiers in one sentence. And it's all the same word? I mean, if I've met people who REALLY swear, they at least have two or three words they alternate between. This was just awkward and tiring. The only person who really pulled it off was John Travolta, who was quite believably insane. ^_^ But yeah, the story was so muddled it might have been good- but I really have no idea, I cared about a random sniper more than the MC, and the triumphant ending was- really not. SIGH. If you're going to present a conflict, people, have the goodness to resolve it! If you're dealing with layers of lies, either wink and nod when you leave, or TELL THE TRUTH, don't just wander aimlessly into the sunset. *glares at storywriters* John Travolta was the best part.

In the morning I woke up. Which I put as a point of interest, seeing as I was up until 2:30+ the night before, and then up at 8, and I don't function well on less than nine hours. YOU DO THE MATH. So then we, hmmm. *thinks* We went to costco, and McDonalds, where someone named James- I love you James, learn to be observant- neglected to get my salad dressings or tell me that he had to tell someone else about out for 15 minutes. Which when you're standing by the counter of a fast food restaurant, is a LONG TIME. And then we went to Long and McQuade, where I stayed in the car and read, and then went home.  The trip back was spent looking at the views, talking Churchill, computers, income and jobs. As one also does. 

First, a picture.

Second, I have been instruted to blog- hopefully in great detail- by Third World and Moon Unit. To which I answered, "Hahahahah, as if I have a blog, hahahh- oh wait."

So here I go. Let's have some history! Which is to say, the modern history of ME- clearly the only reasonable history to look at. *preens*

I went to GF-W on Saturday! It was Exciting! I was served a donair in a pizza shop where Frauline and I were truly, deeply, strongly in the minority because we did not have visible tattoos. This experience affirmed my theorty that- no matter what Hollywood tells you- neck ink does not automatically serve to make you look badass/tough/intimidating. Weighing double a person's body weight and having an extra 12 inches on them does that. ^_^

But I am ahead of myself. SHAME on me! You see, we were in GF because Frauline was attending a watercolour workshop. I came along for reasons that will be revealed later, and also because I am a fan of road trips. She was going to be playing with brushes and hair dryers for two and a half hours, and so I thought I'd do some reading, maybe walk about, get some coffee; you know, as one does. The only problem with that is that I am very lazy and out of the walking habit. I consider my commute to work to be a walk, and I can do that in four minutes, in heels. If I was to go get coffee, I would have to cross a HIGHWAY. *stricken with exhaustion at the very idea*

So yeah, I read for two and a half hours. ^_^ It was a hard decision, but some things just have to be done. HAHAAHAHAHAH, yes, I enjoyed the reading and didn't want to stop. But then Frauline finished her art, and we looked at what we were going to do next. Because the OTHER reason we were in GF-W was to go to the theater, and watch Inception. But now it was 4:30, and the show started at 8:30.

I could tell you that I read for four hours, but that would be clearly preposterous, and untrue. I only read for three more hours, tops. But when you walk into the mall and see the blast cages rattling down, and then  go to Wal-mart and peruse it twenty minutes, your options are limited. So we went to the park and read. :D (I also got some earrings with feathers. They cause me delight and a bit of a dragon-ish hoarding instinct.)

But finally, we found the theatre- which must be sketchily accessed through a vacant lot at the back of a building built before my parents were born- and then we watched the movie! *jazz hands*

Several people have asked me what I thought of it. So, I'm gonna try to articulate my thoughts. :P There is no denying that Inception is a very effective story. It sucked me in for the entire two and a half hours, and I cared about how it ended. However, once it ended, I'm not sure that I want to watch it again. It wasn't really visually stunning, the characters didn't make me love them, there was startlingly little snappy dialogue to pour over, and I'm not terribly sure what it was saying.

Plus, that ending makes me angry. :P I WANT CLOSURE. It was good, and if suggested, I think I'd be happy to see it again- I just didn't really go away saying "Man, I Loved that!" I walked out going "I'm not quite sure what just happened, and I'm not sure if I like it."

And then we drove home. ^_^

There you have it. :D The first part of my DRAMATIC WEEKEND.

Today I came home from work and set about making cookies. While doing so, I realized that one of my little sisters was recording a story on a cellphone for her school activity, and another little sister was threading a loom.

Let's just say we're tolerant of ALL levels of technology. :D

No way/ Not me/ What you got/ It's not for me/ You'll find a way.

I just desperately do not understand what makes me tick. I find things I think I enjoy, and then I blink and I hate them so much it turns my stomach. I find things I think I hate, and then I blink and I'm in a better mood because I have to do them.

It's like my emotions are ENTIRELY disconnected to any external influence. SO AGGRAVATING. Or maybe tragic? Maybe I should cry over this. Or be stoic. Or alternatively, I could laugh!

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE.

In other news, this is a very cool stop-motion video.

Commercials are epic.

So, at work there is a television that is playing all the time. It's mostly there for clients to watch when they're in line, but when the branch isn't busy I get to watch it. "Get to" watch the Weather Network and CMT.

...

Those of you who know my personality know that the fact that I now almost enjoy watching CMT is an example of how chinese water torture repetition can be used to break people even change one's music preferneces!

ANYWAY. *cough* I also get to watch commercials a lot!

Like this one.

*quiet whimpering* I had to go find that, and then I had to hear it, and now I'm gonna go curl into a ball and cry now, please. TOO MUCH REPETITION. MAKE IT STOOOOOOPPPP....

*later*

Okay, so there are many commercials. Some are terrible, and frankly, should be burned. We should find all the copies and code, and burn them. Publicly. With great rejoicing. But there are also good videos among the sludge! I indent to use the rest of this post to share some of the good ones. :D Enjoy!



Er, just skip the last ten seconds.


CUTE!

Something to make you chortle.

The best Christian Pick-up Lines.

• Nice bible.
• Is this pew taken?
• I just don't feel called to celibacy.
• For you I would slay two Goliaths!
• I would go through more than Job for you.
• You are perfect, except with all the sin.
• When Moses struck the rock, water flowed from it like a river. I promise I will never strike you.
• You are so unblemished that I would sacrifice you.
• What, this here? Oh.. that's my study bible - it's a little bigger but I can handle the extra spiritual and physical weight.
• Shall we tithe?
• At points in my life I have been referred to as Samson.
• The word says 'Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry'; how about dinner?
• I didnt believe in predestination until tonight.
• I believe one of my ribs belongs to you.
• I know Lachlan Payne.
• (If the above gains no response) Lachlan Payne knows me.
• I went on a beach mission but all I ended up doing was missin' you.
• I can be your Boaz.
• My spiritual gift is my good looks... it lifts people's spirits.
• I sacrifice my Sunday mornings to look after the creche group. It's tough... but I love children.
• Is this the transfiguration? Because you are glowing.
• I have a job and I'm willing to move away from home.
• Mark driscoll takes up 35% of my ipod memory.
• Hey... I would work 7 years for your sister... but I would work 7 more years for you.
• I'm kind of a big deal at Koorong.
• Hey good-looking, Ecclesiastes 4:11.
• Absolutely. i often throw clothes into the samaritan bin.
• Bible-gateway happens to be my homepage.
• Marry me.
• Can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?
• I have many sponsor children. one in each developing nation.
• I'm one of the fortunate ones. Greek and hebrew come pretty easily to me.
• My favourite species of vegetation is the church plant.
• Did I just have mud rubbed in my eyes?
• What's an xbox?
• Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives; Because he never met you.
• I used to believe in natural theology, but since I met you I've converted to divine revelation.
• I look after widows.
• Is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV Travel Bible in your pocket?
• Why don't i have a bible dictionary? well, I dont really need it.
• Bathsheba had nothing on you.
• You put the 'cute' back in persecution!
• Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead.
• So, can I clothe you in righteousness?
• How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?
• How would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?
• If you say no, I will rip out my hair and my beard.
• If you say no, I'm going to tear my clothes, get in my sackcloth and rub dust into my head.
• If you say no, I'm going on a pilgrimage.
• Unfortunately I can't perform miracles and I've only got enough bread and fish for 2 people.
• So, my parents are home, you wanna come over?
• Let me remove my sandals before I come any closer.
• Let's say, hypothetically, you were married. I would send your husband to the front line against the Amorites.
• It's obvious to me that you sprouted from the good kind of soil.
• Feel free to meet me at the threshing floor.
• You can lie at my feet...
• If I had to choose between a romantic date with you or a night with the fellas... I would sit at home and read my bible.
• I really like your spirituality, it goes well with that shirt.
• Welcome to the christian family-the only family where brothers and sisters can marry each other.
• I did a love tester on your name and mine.. it came back 'predestined.'
• You're totally depraved but I'd still like to go out with you...
• You can come crash at my place tonight. I have a separate room prepared.
• I'm a proverbs 32 kind of guy and you're a proverbs 31 kinda woman.
• I'm interested in full time ministry, and I also play the guitar.
• If we were around with Noah... then you, me... pair.
• I arrange the substantial christian section of my bookshelf into alphabetical order. coffee?
• I sit with my mum at church.
• Let me sell you an indulgence because it's a sin to look as good as you do.
• Not a big fan of your last name, but thats cool, I can change that.
• Solomon had 700 wives. You can be my 2nd girlfriend. But bring your friends.
• I have a bible verse tattoo. It's permanent. It's also in ancient greek.
• I consider myself to be fisher of women. This would be referred to as "casting my net."
• I'm pretty much considered an elder in the congregation these days.
• It would be my honor to present you spotless on the last day.
• Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix.
• When i read Philippians 4:8, i think about you.
• I prayed up the front at church tonight.
• Look, you're nearly 22. Most christians are 3 years into marriage by now; just settle for me.
• I come from Egypt... the same place Moses lived.
• My general biblical knowledge is quite vast, probably because i finished bible trivia as a child.
• Who's your favorite apostle?
• You make the Queen of Sheba look like a hobo.
• I have familiarised myself with all 5 love languages, in fact, i invented 4 of them.
• Let's go for a ride in my zondervan.
• I like to think that I'm all things to all women.
• Have you died before? Because that looks like a resurrection body to me.
• All I'm looking for is a Godly woman. I don't care that you're not attractive.
• You float my ark.
• I've been called the 11th Plague of Egypt: Boogy Fever.
• As Shammah the son of Agee a Hararite protected the field of lentils, so i wish to protect you.
• You make me want to be a better Christian.
• I will never give you reason to hammer a tent peg through my skull.
• I predicted David over Goliath... now I'm betting on you and me.
• If you were staying for the tribulation, I would consider staying too.. but then I would probably leave."
• If you were a leper, i would still hold your hand.. even if it wasnt attached.
• I would have asked you out to dinner, but I just put all my money in the offeratory basket.
• Hi, I'm Calvin. You were meant to choose me.
• Unlike the Israelites, who forgot the Lord, I will remember your name most of the time.
• You are a galations 5 fruit salad.
• I mentioned you in my testimony.
• The perseverance of the saints is well illustrated by the amount of time I spend talking to you.
• The Lord Jesus was into carpentry. I'm doing an apprenticeship.
• If you were my wife, I would never make you pretend to be my sister. That would be too damaging to my reputation.
• I would bring your father twelve-hundred Philistine foreskins for just one date with you.
• I saw Chris Tomlin in concert once.
• Last week, I read Jeremiah, Isaiah and Ezekiel. It's all part of my 'Read-The-Bible in 30 days Course.'

"You sent me flowers, when you were strong/ you were my baby, a whole year long/ all you could tell me, was how I'd done you wrong/ I've got white daises, and a lonesome song."

I need a camera, so I can go out and see things again.

Also, I'm beginning to believe that there is absolutely nothing in the assumption that there are jobs which are "just for stupid people." You know how people talk down on flipping burgers? Just TRY keeping up with the lunch rush at a fast food place, where you have ten seconds between orders and you're primarily working off of the mumbled, annoyed orders that are coming over the speaker- and then I'll consider taking your word for it when you say that that is a job only for the lazy, unmotivated and brain dead.

Similarly, let's look at ditch digging. On days when you're feeling lazy, have you ever thought "Oh, I'll go dig a ditch through the back yard! That sounds delightful!" I know I certainly haven't. Digging ditches is a JOB, and if it's not done properly, we all get flooded basements, or worse.

Unless the ditch diggers are working for the government, eh? :D Jk, jk, you know I jk. Everyone works hard. Okay, that's all my (rather small) rant for the day. :D

I will be back LATER!

STAY TUNED!

P.S. The title is from Rose Cousin's new Album, The Send Off. You can listen to the song here- it's White Daisies.

True Story.

Why yes, it is still winter. But it's the best TIME of winter. Roll Up The Rim!

WHOOOO!

I even started off this year by winning a free coffee, so that has to be a good omen! Right? Right?

(If you don't understand this post, either move to Canada, or employ Google. That's all I have to say there.)

Advice for girls from the internet.

I keep coming across "opinion pieces" on the internet, particularly from people in the arts community, saying that marriage is pretty much overrated. (The fact that they then advocate for Gay Marriage in the next post has no baring on the situation AT ALL, right? I don't see logical issues there in the slightest!)

Particularly aimed at girls, I keep finding inexplicable posts on the subject. I think they're trying to be Grrrl Power, but the message just keeps reading as "relationships are weights on you, don't go there," and "well, if you're unfortunate enough to be entangled with another person, don't make it PERMANENT." (Unless you're entangled with another girl, in which case you obviously want it to be permanent. *headdesk*)

This all makes my head hurt. *headdesks* Maybe because of the repeated bashing of my head into inanimate objects, but WHO KNOWS.

And of course, on the other side there's the "christian posts" (Not opinion, these are the WORD OF GOD,) which say that if you make it to age twenty one without two rings and a baby on the way you're just not trying hard enough, and if you've made it to the ancient age of, say, twenty five, you're just not a good CHRISTIAN. (Unless you're a boy, in which case you must be following in the footsteps of Paul, good job.) Go to church more often! Go EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK. Wear more modest clothing! Serve the poor! Go to Africa as a missionary! You'll find a man THEN! *headdesk*

Okay, the headache is getting worse! *facepalms instead* Much better.

My opinion on the subject, taking into account my plans for the future and having read on BOTH sides?

I need to stop reading people's opinions on the internet.

Epic blog entry of epicness

Here begineth the epic blog entry of last weekend. I'm hoping to get it all into one post without my fingers or language skills giving out- I'll see how that works out.

So, the plan was for Angelica to come out and spend the weekend with us. She was going to drive out from Sin Jawns on Thursday, and return on Sunday. Unfortunately, Thursday rolled in, and so did car troubles. Cue change of plans! (But what is a road trip without transportation issues? Seriously?) Instead, she was going to come in on the bus, on Friday. So Friday rolled in, and so did a blizzard. To make things even better, this was the last day before reading week for MUN students, so the bus stop was full of students anxious to make it home. Angelica didn't make it on the first bus.

In the charming way which DRL has of dealing with overflow passengers, they said they'd wake up the other driver and acquire another bus, come back in an hour. (Btw, the bus was supposed to leave at seven in the morning in the first place. Don't you getting out of bed in time to make it the bus stop at seven am on a saturday, in a snow storm, and being told to come back later? LOVE.) But an hour later, the next bus arrived, and Angelica embarked for the wilds of central newfoundland. It's supposed to be a six hour drive, including an hour meal break for lunch in Gander airport. (An airport so busy that it has two gates. One for departing, one for arrivals. AWESOME, no?) However, due to the snow on the roads, her bus arrived EIGHT HOURS after it left St. John's. Which is nine hours after she was supposed to leave, remember. Which was ten hours after she got up that morning. Given that this was her first bus ride, all I can say is that it gets better! Honestly! :P

But then my lovely family had cupcakes and party games as any excuse for a party to welcome her, and I got home from work in time for rock band tutorials (I really should never play again,) and to watch Up. (I heart that movie.)

Saturday I slept in.. *cough* Not for the whole morning, however! Because we went sledding. It was EPIC.

The picture of grace and dignity, that's me. And Angelica seems to be being attacked by my hair... Poor girl.

There's my mom, isn't she pretty?

After sledding we hung around for a while more, and I read, and then we went bowling! I bowled at 113, I think. Anyways, I broke one hundred, which made me happy. Even if I was the inspiration for the phrase "throwing really enthusiastic gutter balls." Sigh. Oh, and then we went to K and C's house for cake, hot dogs and Charlotte's Web! I queried people about art school and the rise of the civil rights movement. Strangely, people didn't see the connection between those two things when I started asking questions. Their minds must be so boring.. Or organized. That too.

Actually, however, my plot for Karma Police had fallen apart in my hands on Thursday, and I was trying frantically to shoe-horn it back together. Which was the basis for most of my questions, but some people didn't see that immediately. ANYWAYS.

On Sunday we went on an Explorer Girls adventure! Only this time, because we had a destination, and also there were four persons of the male persuasion in attendance, it was more of a, Expedition Persons adventure. We went out to K and C's cabin. The cabin was nice and warm, and contained hot chocolate and cookies. The trek out TO the cabin contained a great deal of slush and ice crystals, and wind off the ocean. I poked some ice pans with my toe, saw them fall gently apart and decided not to try jumping on them while they were in the water, and stomped several loose boards on the wharf back into place with my steel toed boots. Frauline was enraptured with some seaweed frozen into a block of ice that looked like swiss cheese, and the small ones climbed small cliffs. And those formalities over with, then we went inside and had lovely hot chocolate. :D

Oh, and Angelica had brought her camera, and K had brought her alter-ego Iris's wig, so we had a minor photo shoot which was lots of fun. There was only one wig, so the four of us that jumped at the chance to be in the picture had to take turns wearing it, and then Angelica had to stich it together using her arcane photo arts. See the result?

Aren't we fetching?

And then it was sunday afternoon, so Daddy and Angelica and I were going back to Town. Oh, didn't I mention that I was going too? Silly me. Yes, I had my passport, some spare rope and my credit card. So why WOULDN"T I be going? #rhetoricalquestionsftw

We drove in, which was a five hour drive ornamented with many much snow and awesome music, and then we dropped Angelica off at her house, and met up with my brother PT, (You remember PT, don't you? He fixes pianos and has a leopard gecko) at a suitably high-class establishment. So once I'd ordered my bacon cheeseburger and PT had his fries and drink, we sat down to chat. I know, you're amazed at the depth of our pocketbooks and my wild social life.

*cough* At any rate, we got a lovely phone call from our cousin announcing that she was engaged, which surprised no one but pleased us all, and then Daddy had to go calling, and PT and I decided to check out the theatre. Once we got there, there was a slight disagreement between myself and my brother as to which movie we wanted to see. He was strongly on the side of Shutter Island, and myself and my hyper imagination was just as firmly on the side of Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. We decided the only way to choose fairly between them was Rock, Paper, Scissors. Yes, in the theatre lobby, in front of all the cool city teenagers who looked aslant at the baymen. Part of the joy of being as weird as I am is having minimal shame. :D

So, we watched Percy Jackson. *Celebratory Rock Paper Scissors dance* And the movie. Hmmm...

I am a hearty fan of the books. I had just read Last Olympian, which is the last volume in a five-book set, and I loved it. I loved all the details and the use of Greek Mythology, and the excellent way it's all crafted. Oh, and the great characters help too! The movie, well. In the words of my friend Rose after seeing it. "It's an amusing fanfic."Unfortunately, I'd spent much of the day working out and fixing plot issues with my story. So when I was trying to fall asleep (and falling off of) a couch later, I ended up spending much of the night working out and fixing plot issues with the movie. I'm pretty sure I fixed it all and it was marvellous! Too bad I can't remember anything now...

Then in the morning, blessed morning, Daddy and I went to Cora's for breakfast. I am still baffled by the purpose of ground cherries. But they put on a good show, and sometimes that's all you need from your food. After food, we went to the Janeway, which was brutal and heartbreaking as always. I want to write a book there, but I'm afraid of getting it wrong, and crying too much. I have nothing more to say on that subject right now.

At this point it was lunch time, or close enough for Government work. I was dropped off at the mall while Daddy went to make Important Business Connections. I was a good girl and bought work shoes first. And then I was magnetically drawn towards the bookstores.

Last time I was in reach of a bookstore I bought fifteen books. This time I bought twenty. However, because this time I was savvy enough to browse the paperback section instead of the hardbacks, it cost me 30% less. See my spoils? *presents them proudly*

I know it doesn't look like it, but this is honestly broadening my reading horizons, and with books that I think I'll actually READ. Unlike when I pick up Brothers K and say "Oh, I'm gonna read this next." Lies, I read the cheesy things I get from the library before I ready heavy russian things. Ahem.

Also I may or may not have climbed over a fence to get to Chapters. Silly unexpected rivers. Silly barbed wire. Sillest of all mud.

And then we drove home, with a brief stop for dance class. Here endeth the epic weekend.

Trip To Town, pt. 2!

Whew, I just realized I didn't finish part 2 of my blog post about Sin Jawns from December. Oops.

BUT THE TRUTH IS THAT I went to see the Messiah, and it was very very lovely. To be honest, the solos weren't exactly my thing? But the choral pieces delighted me excessively. Also, it was held in a huge old church, which is always delightful. And then I went back to Ms. B's house, and we watched Taken.

That is a very stressful movie. I'm not gonna lie. Something about storming houses in Paris and kidnappings in various parts of Paris- as well as little jaunts into people being hit by semi trucks- worked very well to keep me awake. Also the torture-to-death-scene.

Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Main Character. I will repay.

*I scuttle away*

Leaving the subject of my dreams because I truly cannot remember them any more, beyond the fact that there were important lightbulbs and teeth, let us move on to breakfast!

I had pumpkin cheesecake.

Have I mentioned my nostalgic yearning to be a student again lately? You get up at ten, you eat some cheesecake, you drink some tea.. *sigh* And right now my former self is laughing hysterically at me and pointing out that a student sleeps till ten because she was up until five the night before, and also cheesecake is either used to motivate bribe one's self to finish exams, or a myth. But I ignore my former self. Loftily.

And then there was the Candlelighters christmas party! Wherein I knew almost no one, and all these people I did not know were friendly to me none the less. There was a bouncy castle and McDonalds, and presents! I was too old for those, so I ate many much chocolates instead. I figure it's a fair trade. :P When we got out it was dark, and everyone was already overtired. So we drove home. Which sounds perfectly sensible and reasonable, right up to the point where you realize it's five hours away, in a mini-van full of over-tired, highly-sugared children. And Me. I can shout louder, sulk more obnoxiously, laugh more menacingly, and flail more unpredictably than anyone over the age of two years has any right to aspire too. And no one should sing unless I want them too! *angry glaring from the front seat* Thankfully, after a particular outburst where I was heard to say that I hated the whole world and particularly anyone within a time zone, Frauline tamed me with coffee, chocolate and the loan of her earbuds. The problem child thus taken care of, we got home and burned newspapers to warm the house.

Thus endeth the Christmas Trip into St. Johns.

^_^

*insert guitar solo here*

So, there's a meme going round the internet, where one finds the number one song from the day one was born, and the posts a video of it. And since I am totally not a fan of bandwagons in ANY form*, here's the appropriate song. :D

(Wait, what? You say. I say, have some guns and roses.)



If you want to check out your song, this site is useful.

*Unless I want to be, in which case I am ALL OVER bandwagons which direct me to post videos of rock songs.