"... and then I saw the highlighters that were also necklaces..."

When I was little I thought that dollar stores were TEH AWESOMEST THING IN TEH WORLD.

Then I became a teenager, and discovered social conscience and snobbery, and decided that nothing in a dollar store was worthy.

Then I got a job, and extended that to Wal-mart, and anything within 200 miles of my house (excluding bookstores.) None of you deserve my my heard-earned money! I must spend it in the CITY!!!

I think I grew out of those particular stages. I went to the dollar store the other day to get tupperware.

An hour later, I spent 57 dollars on purchases including a candle that smelled like coffee, and shiny luggage locks that are just so SHINY. I nearly bought a stuffed fish that was quite possibly the tackiest thing ever made- simply because it was tacky. Thankfully Frauline was there to drag me away from the iridescent leprous fish with floppy lips, stuffed with dust from thailand.

Then we found the wedding section. Have you ever seen the wedding section in a dollar store? Did you know you can buy a veil for five dollars, champagne glasses for four, a "do not disturb we're on our honeymoon" door hanger for two fifty, and a tablecloth and two bundles of lace for fifteen (to make the dress)? THERE IS NOTHING MORE YOU EVEN NEED. One stop shopping, right there. (I also may have had a laughing attack internally over a place holder that was a pair of grisly severed hands. Nothing says romance like a pair of severed hands!)

And I mean, the hilarity continues. Have you ever seen the make-up section? I swear the original nail polish that I was bought for learning to read was on that rack, for a dollar. And the pictures on the eyeshadow seem to indicate you should buy this if you are colour blind or legally blind.

Er, so far I haven't managed to give a good explanation for why I actually spent money on things. But I ask you. Don't you see the appeal of a potato peeler where the handle is actually shaped like a potato? Isn't that magical?

Isn't it?

...

Perhaps I shouldn't be allowed outside with money....