Monday, March 24, 2008

There really is no fathoming the depths of my hatred for this paper.

I hadn't fully realized how deeply I dislike my scriptures paper, but let me tell you, we are not friends. On Saturday, I worked all day on the paper, and do you know what I did? I spend the ENTIRE day, 8 hours, to be precise, typing out quotes. I ended up with 8 pages, single spaced, 11 pt- 4,456 words. The entire paper has a word limit of 2,500 words. *beats head against wall*

Do you know why I spent so ridiculously much time on quotes? (I have just realized the answer to this important query.) As long as I was working on quotes, I didn't have to actually write. I realized this when I sat down at the computer, looked at my empty page, and felt physically ill. It's true! I have reached the stage where school work makes me fell sick to my stomach.

I think this is partly fueled by the looming feeling that I am going to FAIL!!!!! Jolly, no? Due to the long-draw-out paper due dates, I get to enter exam stress 6 weeks early. *laughs hysterically* I only felt this way the actual week of exams last term, and the day of standardized exams in the past. This time, I charmingly get to experience the full joy of soul-sucking stress for another five weeks, in addition to the expanse of it I have already moved through mainly intact.

Five weeks? *blinks* That's all it is till I go home? Insane. Truly insane. I'm really looking forward to seeing all my family again, but I'm also really going to miss the people here. *cries* Funnily, I'm having moving dreams again. I haven't had those since I was about 13. They're dreams in which for some reason, usually Daddy's work, the family gets to move to a new place, which just so happens to be near my friends. I've been moving west a lot at night. *grins* Vancouver, Victoria, Ottawa, an unexplained Canadian Military Base in Oregon.

In case I haven't mentioned it before, I'm the only one from the east coast at the college; everyone else is EST and further west.

*sigh* And my little brother Gid, who is newly four, is undergoing an eval and chemo today. Pray without ceasing...

Go with God.

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