This is where I gloat, right?

It has come to my attention that I'm supposed to, according to tradition, write a blog post gloating over all my loot. So here goes!

I got; 

• A lovely box of toffifees that are mostly gone,
  
• Three jolly striped shirts,
  
• A whole host of fuzzy socks,
  
• A Montreal Canadiens hat and Toronto Maple Leaves mittens, (from the same person, none the less),
  
• Two pairs of PJs, pink and red, respectively, and some "pure seduction" body spray,
  
• A paperback copy of Twilight,
  
• A desk lamp,
  
• Some pens and a shiny magnetic Journal,
  
• A bath set or four,
  
• A bunch of gift cards, for chapters, american eagle, and itunes. 
  
• From PT;
  
• Genocide, Its political use in the 20th century
  
• Lyisitrata, by Aristophanes
  
• The Transitive Vampire, a handbook of grammar for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed
  
• Othello
  
• Oedipus Rex, by Sophocles
  
• and a 2G thumbdrive.

It should become apparent that a lot of the gifts were given me by people who didn't know me. :D But still, I got a lot of nice things, whether the person who was buying them had a clue who I was or not. 

"What are you doing here all by your eyelashes?"

Christmas is over, and I'm STILL tired. That may be attributable to the fact that I didn't have coffee yet today, though. Hmmmmm.... 

Anyhow, Christmas. We had what was quite possible the most lavish and epic Christmas I have ever been witness too. We started at 8:00 am, with the unwrapping. And we went until 11:00 am, then took a half hour break for breakfast. The unwrapping commenced again, and continued till 1:30 pm, when we broke for lunch. After a long lunch, and some staring at the wall, we started again at 3:30 pm. We finished the unwrapping at 5:00 pm. Now, for some families that may be normal, but not this one. It took at LEAST twice as long as normal. People have been so incredibly generous, it just boggles the mind. 

So unwrapping took most of the day. Then PT, the Walrus, Fraulein and I watched Walrus's new movie Transformers in the evening. It was a fun film, so long as I completely suspended all disbelief relating to the Military, and Law Enforcement, and the Intelligence Community, and how Relationships work. Oh, and massive transforming intelligent robots/vehicles. I mean, the SECRETARY OF DEFENSE was running things? And buddy broke an audio signal just by putting a thumb drive containing it in his computer? Blink, heartbeat heartbeat, and we're seeing all these massive secrets-Right, suspension of disbelief. SUSPEND... *big grin* The Walrus really liked it though, and I thought it was fun, so twas all good. Oh and Moonunit called for 20 minutes, which was terribly jolly. It put me in a good mood. :D

And now today I've spent most of the day sleeping, so I should really work on looking alive and going for a walk or something.

"Just Get Me Through December"

My little brother died yesterday. He was four years old, and too much joy to be contained. 

And I just don't know anything. The world is different, that's for sure. Maybe I've grow up a little more, maybe I'm still in shock and denial, but I certainly don't look at life in the same way. Life- both the living of it and the fact of morality, has taken on a different aspect. 

Because my little brother is no longer here, and everything reminds me of him in some way. He loves blue, and kinder eggs, and cars, and the whole wild world. He gives his full attention to whatever he is doing, oh my little brother. 

No, I'm not using the present tense by accident. I believe- no, I don't believe, I know, that he's in a better place. He has no more pain, no more uncertainty, no more tears. He's free. And for him, we'll see him tomorrow. We just have a longer tomorrow to get through than he does. 

His death was peaceful, and even the days and hours before were free of stress for him. I have a mental snapshot from the day before, which encapsulates the hospital time for me. Gid was sleeping, and had been all day, and I was just watching him from across the room. Snow was falling. There was only one small light on in the room, so it was getting darker as night fell. A fan caused the curtains to brush against each other, and the IV pump made small popping noises every couple of seconds. Daddy was playing acoustic guitar, and Mommy and Fraulein and I listened to him and to Gid breathing. It was an incredible span of time. There was so much sorrow and so much joy, somehow held side by side. 

The strange thing is that I really still can't take it in. My mind keeps trying to segment my memory, saying that that wasn't Gid, my little brother is still somewhere around here, and I'm going to poke my head around a corner and see him sleeping. It's so strange. I'll probably be trying to fit my head around it for quite some time. Years, most likely. 

Anyhow, that's my big news. And if you thought my sense of humour was dark and twisted before, you might want to avoid me from now on. 

Note: I've been trying to write this for a little while. Please ignore the continuity error. 

Gideon is sleeping peacefully, so far as I know.

I don't have any words for today. It wasn't painful, particularly. It's moved beyond mere pain, into something far more complicated and world-altering. Maybe in a couple of days, or months, or years, I'll be able to capture it. But today I have no words.

"And you won't read that book again because the ending's just too hard to take."

I got asked if I was Fraulein's twin again today. I tell you, hair dye is looking REALLY good right about now. 

That was about it. Oh, I wrote some silliness on my novel. 

PT visited the hospital, in company with his GF.

I think December is a really messed up month anyhow. And this year only throws the enforced gaiety into more garish contrast. 

I'm tired really early now, which is odd. This is my excuse for this really unenlightening blog post. 

"Let's put a pin in this conversation. Poke! There, and we are not coming back to it until it's resolved."

Empire Theaters somehow heard about our situation, (who knows really what they heard- let's not ask for the sob story) and they donated tickets for us all to go see Bolt! Tickets for all the children, even the twenty year old ones. :D The movie was very fun, and thankfully the humour was such that I didn't have to feel protectively embarrassed for the small ones at all. So either I'm really hardened to sketchiness, I wasn't very observant, or it was actually a clean kids' movie!

Let me see; the animation was shiny, the music was fun, when I noticed it, and the story, though generic let's-introduce-the-children-to-betrayal-and-deception-at-age-four, was enjoyable. And the characters were lovely. As is my tradition, I wasn't that crazy about the main heartwarming characters, but there were oodles of other marvelous people. *rubs hands together* Rhino the hamster, you know you are made of awesome. :D But not as much awesome as Mittens the cat. Offering pigeons your protection... *chortles*

Oh, and then Fraulein and I dared the mall, and I bought a root beer float and some jeans. At different stores. (Yes, I know that is a shock to you.) And I swear, I give off some kind of meek'n'harmless'n'invisible vibe, because I stood there for five minutes in front of AW and watched them fill straws, quietly seething, and they just filled the straws, and looked at me, and filled the straws, and looked at me, and put away the straws, and chatted about breaks, and totally neglected to ask me if I wanted anything. Only pure a steely resolve to not go back to my seat empty handed retained that $3.79 for the coffers of AW.

And then we walked back to the Janeway and watched Gid breathe for a couple of hours. As I'm writing this, Fraulein and Mommy have ventured out to purchase some Pizza, Daddy's reading, Gid's breathing, and I'm, uh, writing. Good times being coherent, eh?

Fraulein and I watched another movie last night, which was the new Pride and Prejudice. The one with Keira Knightly, that is only 2.5 hours long, I mean. We decided that it is a good movie, though not quite as good as the six hour BBC version, and rather interestingly americanized. I mean, all the people walking around in disheveled undergarments, bubbling over with emotional protestations, (while sober)? Not terribly British, donchaknow. And it even looks like it's set in colonial America for much of the movie. Intentional? Really? You think? But as I said, we both think it was a good movie. :D

"Yes, I am going blog EXTENSIVELY about your vest."

No, that was a lie. I shall just mention that Fraulein has a new vest, a denim vest, from winners, that was on sale, and that looks rather spectacularly stylish. She is wearing it today.

Yesterday, she was wearing jeans that fitted marvelously, a stylish blue t-shirt that I am unable to describe other than it was royal blue and stylish, white rosebud earrings, pretty nike sneaks, and a pearl necklace. I, on the other hand, was wearing; a black "Newfoundland Liberation Army" t-shirt that didn't fit quite as well as Fraulein's, a man's black pinstriped fedora, cargo pants that definitely didn't belong to me to the point that I had to borrow my 13 year old brother's studded leather belt to keep them on, and my brown Helly Hanson runners (which happen to be men's shoes, by the way.) There is a reason we don't borrow clothing from each other's closets, you see. We have rather different tastes. Despite this, people keep mistaking us for each other. I am starting to be tempted to dye my hair red, just to escape the comments.

Anyhow, Fraulein and I were out by the nurses' station waiting to go back to the hotel yesterday, and looked each other up and down.
Fraulein: *hopeful* "Maybe now people won't say we look alike!"
Nurse: *approaching us* "Are you girls twins, or just sisters?"

Then today, I dug deeply into my suitcase that mainly contains books and came up with a denim dress (home schooler uniform!) and cream pashmina. So when a kind elderly man came by to give us some bread and cookies, he assumed that I was my father's wife.

What will people take me for tomorrow? Stay tuned to see.